Wake up, Jay.

I've been sleeping... until I got that call. I only wish it came sooner.

I'm a mess right now.

An allergic mess, probably from the cat hairs on my shirt (from playing with my old roommates' cats, which I got used to after a while, but got allergic to them again)... eyes burning, sneezing, rose running...

An academic mess, despite trying like hell not to fall behind in class, I mainly neglected to study when I had time and just failed to keep up when I got tired... tired too many times.

A mess of living space... my space... which I can hardly recognize under all the things that it's cluttered with. What a reflection of my life the state of my room is.

A mess of my coordination... I just bit my lip two times in two days. I haven't bit my lip previous to that for months. I haven't worked out for a month and a half, so when I try to do the same things I did when I was in shape, I feel like rubber.

A financial mess... I just thought to check the charges on my credit cards a few days ago and saw all sorts of things I needed to cancel or dispute... not to mention the balances which never seem to get any smaller.

A mess of relationships... I've lets things go unsaid and undone far too long in certain relationships, and I'm still struggling to find some balance with the relationships that require more of my attention.

An emotional mess... trying to figure out if what I want is really what I need... feeling like I'm constantly stepping on toes or saying the wrong things. Is it all in my head?

A spiritual mess... I feel like I should be going in a new direction, but my feet hurt and my vision isn't so clear anymore. Lord, I need your guidance.

weathering the storms of my existence
i need to put myself back together

walk on