Monday, November 28, 2005

ten minutes.

go.

I caught up with many many blogs and xangas and had the inspiration. What inspiration, I'm not sure. But I think somewhere I had something to say. Something to sort out. Something to let out. Kids grow up faster than you get older. That's what I thought as I looked through my brother's old yearbooks when I was bored at home. Why was I bored at home? Because I don't really talk to my mom or my dad or my two sisters or my little brother? Why does it seem like I'm never really clicking with them? I wish we could be still and be ok with each other, because that would be like some sort of understanding. I think that's what all of us are looking for to some extent. Some understanding. I know that things aren't to get better just by talking about them, but too much action and no thinking leaves you confused. Too much thinking and no action leaves you crippled and helpless. We are given the energy to break down walls and ignore the most human of our emotions to reach something higher. To reach a different place. I don't know if I can be there right now though. I don't know a lot of things. I wish I did. It's alright though. This is a process. This is growth. I need to be comfortable with myself. I can't keep thinking everything will take care of itself if I don't take of what I can. I can't waste this. Have faith. Have hope.

Love.

stop.

ten minutes.

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