losing it
I haven't felt tested in a while, but now I already feel like I failed.
For the second time, I lost my phone. Not because I left it somewhere, but because it feel out of my pocket. I realize this at 3:00 pm. I had work at 3:45 pm. It take at least 25 minutes to get from Chino Hills to Newport Beach with no traffic. I looked everywhere I was in the morning before finally giving up and rushing to work. 3:15 pm.
Car's in the garage. Pull out to the curb, get out hit the garage door button on the wall and run under the garage door. The garage door proceeds to hit me hard in the lower back. Turn around and it's going up again. Hit the button again, run out, but this time I trigger the lower sensor and it goes up again. Thoroughly frustrated and now aware the neighbors across the street are watching, I hit the button a third time and run out, jump, get smacked a little on my hip in the air, and turn to watch the garage door close. My neighbor said something to me (that I didn't really hear) and I wasn't in the mood to laugh, but I managed a polite "yea." Whatever the comment was.
3:17. Let out some more choice words while I bang on the steering wheel and center console. I hate cursing, but I hate losing things more.
3:27. After trying several times to get my mp3 player to spit something out, I look at the display and it tells me I have to transfer the tracks again. Happens once a month, but decides to lock everything down now. No music to calm me down.
3:34. I pass by Lakeview Medical, the only other place I could have lost my phone. If I go look for it and find it, I can call Scott's mom to let her know I'm running late. If it's not there, I would have been 10-15 late (later) than I already was. If I don't stop and look for it, I'd have to come back to check before they close, and I'd be without a phone. And I'd still be late to work without calling ahead. I watch the exit go by in the passenger side window.
3:35. Ten minutes before Scott's bus shows up, and I'm not even on the 55 yet.
3:45. Barely in Santa Ana. More traffic to contend with before I hop on the 73.
3:57. Scott's sitting near the curb at the bus stop, lets me know his mom's on the way. Says he tried calling my phone, but someone else picked up, said it was the radiology department.
4:01. Scott's mom shows up, I apologize and tell her what happened. Then she asks about my situation and I tell her for the first time while Scott's there listening. Not that I didn't want to talk about it, but I didn't feel like breaking down right there in front of Scott and his mom. My boss. But she was gracious enough to give me the day off.
This would have been another aggravating incident by itself, but compounded with the triple digit heat, my very low heat tolerance, my sleepiness, the gravity of my situation, and the fact that I really have no more excuses for misplacing my phone, I couldn't take it anymore.
My phone is with the admin lady at the radiology department at Lakeview. I have the rest of the day off. I took a nice cold shower. But the situation is the same...
I still feel helpless as ever in this.
I haven't felt tested in a while, but now I already feel like I failed.
For the second time, I lost my phone. Not because I left it somewhere, but because it feel out of my pocket. I realize this at 3:00 pm. I had work at 3:45 pm. It take at least 25 minutes to get from Chino Hills to Newport Beach with no traffic. I looked everywhere I was in the morning before finally giving up and rushing to work. 3:15 pm.
Car's in the garage. Pull out to the curb, get out hit the garage door button on the wall and run under the garage door. The garage door proceeds to hit me hard in the lower back. Turn around and it's going up again. Hit the button again, run out, but this time I trigger the lower sensor and it goes up again. Thoroughly frustrated and now aware the neighbors across the street are watching, I hit the button a third time and run out, jump, get smacked a little on my hip in the air, and turn to watch the garage door close. My neighbor said something to me (that I didn't really hear) and I wasn't in the mood to laugh, but I managed a polite "yea." Whatever the comment was.
3:17. Let out some more choice words while I bang on the steering wheel and center console. I hate cursing, but I hate losing things more.
3:27. After trying several times to get my mp3 player to spit something out, I look at the display and it tells me I have to transfer the tracks again. Happens once a month, but decides to lock everything down now. No music to calm me down.
3:34. I pass by Lakeview Medical, the only other place I could have lost my phone. If I go look for it and find it, I can call Scott's mom to let her know I'm running late. If it's not there, I would have been 10-15 late (later) than I already was. If I don't stop and look for it, I'd have to come back to check before they close, and I'd be without a phone. And I'd still be late to work without calling ahead. I watch the exit go by in the passenger side window.
3:35. Ten minutes before Scott's bus shows up, and I'm not even on the 55 yet.
3:45. Barely in Santa Ana. More traffic to contend with before I hop on the 73.
3:57. Scott's sitting near the curb at the bus stop, lets me know his mom's on the way. Says he tried calling my phone, but someone else picked up, said it was the radiology department.
4:01. Scott's mom shows up, I apologize and tell her what happened. Then she asks about my situation and I tell her for the first time while Scott's there listening. Not that I didn't want to talk about it, but I didn't feel like breaking down right there in front of Scott and his mom. My boss. But she was gracious enough to give me the day off.
This would have been another aggravating incident by itself, but compounded with the triple digit heat, my very low heat tolerance, my sleepiness, the gravity of my situation, and the fact that I really have no more excuses for misplacing my phone, I couldn't take it anymore.
My phone is with the admin lady at the radiology department at Lakeview. I have the rest of the day off. I took a nice cold shower. But the situation is the same...
I still feel helpless as ever in this.
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