Leave the light on for me...

Things are so unsettled right now, and the worst part about it is that I know it's completely out of my hands. I can't do a damn thing. I do know if I can ever be content with just letting everything go, but I didn't write the rules. If I didn't care, if I didn't have so much invested in this... but doors close for a reason. Mine is still open. For now.

Playing volleyball made me feel young again, even with my still gimpy ankle and my messed up knees, I felt like I was in my element. I miss that feeling. I think I've learned to tame my fiercely competitive nature, but when I push myself just enough... maybe I've stopped trying to reach my potential. I need to be challenged, so that I can grow. Lately, all of my challenges have been coming from everywhere except myself. I need to change that now...

I don't quite know why I decided to give up this morning. I'm not the type of person to let thiings happen, no matter how futile and pointless they might seem. There's more to things than success and failure. Am I letting these struggles get the best of me?

As I drove down the dark roads of my life, a peace came over me. Alone in my thoughts, separated from the world but finally in tune with it, at least for a time, I let the worries of the world go long enough to remember why...