It's a thin line we walk.

Did anyone say to stop running? Or have I just lost the heart to push myself? This comfort zone thing is so debilitating. I started being careful, and found myself paralyzed. Where is that kid that used to jump off the side of the stairs and run across streets only thinking about getting to the other side as fast as possible. Somewhere I got to know fear. Fear of pain, loss, rejection, failure. Many, many bruises and scars later, I'm being lulled to sleep by society's dream of a comfortable existence. This was never my dream. Not a dream of mine. Why am I starting to live it? I sleep way too much. I haven't worked out in half a year. I can't see any floorspace in my room. Before last week, I hadn't washed more than my white in who knows how long. Anything school related I've put on the back burner indefinitely. I've been saving a lot of money, but money well spent is more valuable than money well saved. I've been a friend of convenience instead of a friend of generosity. I can't even say how much food I've wasted because I put in the effort to eat it when it was still good, and I hate wasting things. I have yet to find a date for Med Mission Gala. I have trouble telling Scott's parents I've got to get going when I've got to get going. There are plenty of projects that I've started and never finished. I want to keep growing in my faith, but I haven't taken that leap yet.

Now I feel I must let go of it all.

Enough walking for now.