I set my alarm for 9 and slept on the couch so I could wake up go to the beach and help film some scenes for the upcoming spirit rally, but I only woke up to turn off my alarm. I actually got up at 4:30, 7 hours later. I think the sleep was much needed though. I was falling asleep at the spirit rally at one point. I fought with Malcolm (the cat), but he ended up slashing me pretty well. I swear that cat must think we're trying to kill it sometimes. It wigs out all the time. I went to mass at 6:30 but I didn't have time to make it for choir practice, which I've been trying to be consistent with, because it's so sad to see so many people go to mass and only three people in the choir sometimes. Afterwards, we had spirit rally practice. I had my hand at Fran's videocamera, which got me to thinking about buying one. Maybe not too seriously, but it would be nice. I would want a new computer to do editing and all that, so I'll hold off on that purchase for a while. I still don't even have a scanner, with all 3000 (at least) pictures I've taken just sitting around my room in their respective costco developing envelopes. Beej was cracking me up so much while I was taping that I had to stop singing. We changed some words to the songs Mom wrote up on the whiteboard, but she got mad and made us change them. Practice went well, and we learned a new song. I usually try to sing loud so people can feed off me, but sometimes I think I'm singing off key or something, especially when I'm one of the few guys singing. I'm not too confident in my own voice yet, despite doing plenty of choir related things since freshman year. We copied a huge stack of flyers for another flyer blitz, this time directed mainly at cars. I really hope that it works. After going to SOL's youth rally, I don't want to see any empty chairs in SSLH on Saturday. That's why this last advertising push is so important to me, although we really should have done this earlier. Lessons for next year, I guess. We stayed for David's berfday surprise, while Mom and Reg conspired and executed their plan to cake him. They really stuck it to him, because he looked like one of those Blue-Man dudes. He attempted to get Mom back, but she fell dramatically to her knees and begged him not to. I've got to get hold of that videotape. We resumed our word rearrangement and came up with The Boys of Juan Colleen. Mom gave me the mom face though, and she didn't stop either. I think I would have cracked if I didn't hide behind the whiteboard. Leaving the parking lot, I peeled out around Nat's car just for kicks and then circled around, but she too gave me the mom face. Geez. She seemed really peeved. I felt like a jerk right then. Two mom faces in the same day will do that to you.

Once again I neglected to call my sister for her birthday. Man, I feel like crap. I don't call her that much, and to not call on her birthday, I hope she doesn't hate me for it. I wish that we talked more though... Things have opened up since I've left for college, but very slowly. I'm not very close to anyone in my family, partly because all the stresses we've had growing up, but now I need them more than ever. There's so much space to close...

I talked to Melissa online, and I realized that I haven't been this alright being single in a long long time. Possibly ever. I told her there's nobody I think of when I hear a slow jam. Sounds a little sad, but I think it can be a good thing, especially in my own situation. Hearing so much about letting go and all that from everyone, I could benefit much by taking that to heart. My path will go where it goes. I've gotten so tired of looking for what's not there, so tired of pitying myself.

No longer a tourist, not yet a pilgrim.