The wind is strong these days

So many things are going on now that it's hard what to think of everything. Academics are a burden enough right now. Winter quarter. It always seems like I'm holding up, but once things start falling on my head, it's too late to do anything but find some shelter...

And yet despite the growing urgency I feel to handle my business, I feel numb. I have to remind myself all too often: action begets results. Why do my career goals make me feel so inadequate? I was walking around the vendor fair admiring some artists' work, and something started to work inside me. The artisitic side in me was tired of being ignored. I need to break out my 35mm and shoot... to let pen hit paper and let my mind loose for a moment. If only to capture a piece of my soul. I don't have the musical training, I don't have the funds to continue firing away roll after roll in my camera, I can't find the inspiration to draw whatever it is I feel, so I resort to writing. I would have tried writing a story or a book by now, but I think my symbolism is just too abstract for anyone to grasp. So for now my stories are silent...

Then I think about my world. I see so many things out of balance that I can't help but think. Things are changing. People are changing. I'm changing. I believe some things are meant to be, but only for a time. Everything has its season.

The wind is restless.