Monday started on a lull... though I got to class and everything, I felt gloomy and sad for the first time in a while. Feeling my mood change, I decided to fight it, force myself not to let my mood make me lazy... make me want to just sleep everything away. I worked for a little while, and I read my book for history between classes instead of going home just to sit at my computer and see who's been updating their blogs/xangas/whatevers. Physics put me to sleep (even though I like physics... I think it was the heat of the lecture hall), so I had to keep yelling inside my head to stop letting the gray skies outside and in my head turn everything into nothing. I went home, only to miss UV (again), but I made it to PCN practice. I'm excited... I got almost the whole thing down to the point I don't have to count and I can pick up at any point. Bev, my partner showed up a little later. Bev, my partner told our dance cord's that she was going to have someone else as her partner. That left me partnerless. So they put with another girl. Where is the love? I thought it'd be a good opportunity to strengthen the ties between us, because we used to hang out a lot, but maybe it was only because we were around each other a lot. And now? I don't know. I even told my roommate how cool it was that we got paired up. What can I do though? I ended up learning a different part of the dance and stayed late to help get it down with the other guys in my suite. I came back home to finish my history paper. Two page analysis of a drawing. How hard could it be? Right around 1 am, I get invited to watch the meteor shower down at Turtle Rock. I'm there... my brain wasn't with me at that point anyway. My paper read like...
yea, like that.
I met up with everyone on campus and we rolled six cars deep to Turtle Rock. Reminded me of the time Roma, Melissa, Flo, Reg, and I went to watch the last one... without a sleeping bag or enough jackets, but it was so fun... This time we had maybe 20 of us Loggers and PUSO people (planned spontaneity at its best). We somehow convince everyone to hike all the way up, freezing from the wind chill. The clouds looked nice from up there. I'm sure the meteors looked nice, behind the clouds and all. We kind of split off into little groups, then came together to sing slow jams, dogpile the hell out of Cris and GNat (someone cracked my back when they landed on me... I almost drooled on somebody), and stand really close to one another to block out the wind... and get a little closer, nah mean? We even saw the moons out (yes, plural). We all managed to make it back down the hill and get home, only wishing that we didn't have to do anything in the morning. Unfortunately, my paper still awaited me. More unfortunate still, by the time that I had to turn the stupid thing in, I only had 5 lines written... so I slept off most of the day from 9 to 4pm.
Tuesday. Sunset was coming in a few hours, and I had just woken up. What the hell was I thinking? Better yet, why the hell couldn't I think? I put my paper on hold to go to my bio career decisions class. It was about medical school this time, one of the few relevant topics I wanted to pay attention to in the class. That baller girl from fall intermurals was there again. She had a Chicago Bulls jacket. It was an old one too, meaning she's been a fan for a while... and to bring it with her to college? Hmmm... same major... same favorite team... something good could come out of this. But I never said anything. I can't expect anything. Maybe our paths will cross some more...
I walked out of the class feeling somewhat apprehensive... there was something that clicked in my head, something that made me realize that I was near the point of no return, so to speak, with all the preparations and everything for medical school, and yet I'm still so unsure of myself. I felt so small. UCI has become my home... my people are here... I'm so comfortable here. But then again, I was never really about being comfortable. Maybe I just have to stop sticking my foot in the door once I've already passed through it.
I went to PUSO next, sad that I missed most of it. I got nominated for two positions. I don't know who nominated me, but I'd like to be on board... it seems like something for me, something I can get into. I've benefited a lot from PUSO, even more than just career or academic wise. I guess I should try do the same. Those cool cats also gave me an appreciation card and some candy for helping out with Wayzgoose. They said if I came earlier they would have clapped for me too. How cool is that? I grabbed some food with Cris and then went to the afterevent, arts and crafts. Not your typical after event, but hey, whatever works. We made lanyards and frames, stuff I haven't done in forever. Brought me back...
I went to Liwanag and it was great to see new people come out all the time now. I think everything is running in a cycle of involvement, which might suggest a blowout year for LOG this coming school year, but for me it was a incredible year regardless of our numbers. It'd be nice to have extra people around, just to stir things up a bit. We had discussions about the me-first attitude in society and what it means to be a servant. A little something to think about, as in everything it can be hard to let go of that yearning to be at the top all the time. Sometimes it's far better to share... and other times far better to serve. I had to leave early for a PUSO intermural volleyball game. We played our hearts out, and we got tore up. From the flo' up. We kept it pretty close in the second game though. We've never played together though, and I've only played twice in the last six years, so I guess it's the effort that counts. Next week we'll be back with a vengeance. We practiced spiking after the game, and I somehow managed to spike it into some dude's head, even though he was 20 feet to my right... I need to practice on my aim a little. I played 2 hours of racquetball after the volleyball game with Mel, Joe, and GP. Somehow the stupid ball kept finding its way to injure us... in the balls. There were like 20 body shots. Maybe half were from GP serving it into himself. I went back to Interfaith afterwards to see if anything was still going on, and I met up with Reg, Mom, and Cris, who were going to study at Commons. I followed them and actually got some good work in before I left for home again at 2. But I still didn't finish my paper yet...
yea, like that.
I met up with everyone on campus and we rolled six cars deep to Turtle Rock. Reminded me of the time Roma, Melissa, Flo, Reg, and I went to watch the last one... without a sleeping bag or enough jackets, but it was so fun... This time we had maybe 20 of us Loggers and PUSO people (planned spontaneity at its best). We somehow convince everyone to hike all the way up, freezing from the wind chill. The clouds looked nice from up there. I'm sure the meteors looked nice, behind the clouds and all. We kind of split off into little groups, then came together to sing slow jams, dogpile the hell out of Cris and GNat (someone cracked my back when they landed on me... I almost drooled on somebody), and stand really close to one another to block out the wind... and get a little closer, nah mean? We even saw the moons out (yes, plural). We all managed to make it back down the hill and get home, only wishing that we didn't have to do anything in the morning. Unfortunately, my paper still awaited me. More unfortunate still, by the time that I had to turn the stupid thing in, I only had 5 lines written... so I slept off most of the day from 9 to 4pm.
Tuesday. Sunset was coming in a few hours, and I had just woken up. What the hell was I thinking? Better yet, why the hell couldn't I think? I put my paper on hold to go to my bio career decisions class. It was about medical school this time, one of the few relevant topics I wanted to pay attention to in the class. That baller girl from fall intermurals was there again. She had a Chicago Bulls jacket. It was an old one too, meaning she's been a fan for a while... and to bring it with her to college? Hmmm... same major... same favorite team... something good could come out of this. But I never said anything. I can't expect anything. Maybe our paths will cross some more...
I walked out of the class feeling somewhat apprehensive... there was something that clicked in my head, something that made me realize that I was near the point of no return, so to speak, with all the preparations and everything for medical school, and yet I'm still so unsure of myself. I felt so small. UCI has become my home... my people are here... I'm so comfortable here. But then again, I was never really about being comfortable. Maybe I just have to stop sticking my foot in the door once I've already passed through it.
I went to PUSO next, sad that I missed most of it. I got nominated for two positions. I don't know who nominated me, but I'd like to be on board... it seems like something for me, something I can get into. I've benefited a lot from PUSO, even more than just career or academic wise. I guess I should try do the same. Those cool cats also gave me an appreciation card and some candy for helping out with Wayzgoose. They said if I came earlier they would have clapped for me too. How cool is that? I grabbed some food with Cris and then went to the afterevent, arts and crafts. Not your typical after event, but hey, whatever works. We made lanyards and frames, stuff I haven't done in forever. Brought me back...
I went to Liwanag and it was great to see new people come out all the time now. I think everything is running in a cycle of involvement, which might suggest a blowout year for LOG this coming school year, but for me it was a incredible year regardless of our numbers. It'd be nice to have extra people around, just to stir things up a bit. We had discussions about the me-first attitude in society and what it means to be a servant. A little something to think about, as in everything it can be hard to let go of that yearning to be at the top all the time. Sometimes it's far better to share... and other times far better to serve. I had to leave early for a PUSO intermural volleyball game. We played our hearts out, and we got tore up. From the flo' up. We kept it pretty close in the second game though. We've never played together though, and I've only played twice in the last six years, so I guess it's the effort that counts. Next week we'll be back with a vengeance. We practiced spiking after the game, and I somehow managed to spike it into some dude's head, even though he was 20 feet to my right... I need to practice on my aim a little. I played 2 hours of racquetball after the volleyball game with Mel, Joe, and GP. Somehow the stupid ball kept finding its way to injure us... in the balls. There were like 20 body shots. Maybe half were from GP serving it into himself. I went back to Interfaith afterwards to see if anything was still going on, and I met up with Reg, Mom, and Cris, who were going to study at Commons. I followed them and actually got some good work in before I left for home again at 2. But I still didn't finish my paper yet...
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