The glowing blue tides. Beautiful.

Everything's turned upside down now, despite how much I've fought it. I'm going to take some good advice and start over again. I've let my priorities slip and I've gotten too far from myself.

Sometimes you can go around things. Other times you can slow down. A few times you can go straight through. This time, I have to stop. Get my bearings. Then find my direction.

...swallowing my pride, I walk. It's not just "do the right thing" anymore. It's also "do something right." That's where I have to start.

Man, I'm slippin...

Why wasn't I thinking? Once again I screwed up.

And I don't know what to do. God help me.

I'm having one of those cottonmouth moments. Those times when you know exactly what should you should be talking about, but all you get is... well... um... ... um... ... ...

Just like that moment today. All that I could muster was "Hey." Damn. I'm not too great at this meeting people thing. I doesn't make things easier being a second year... second year senior.

But when the words start flowing... there's no more cotton mouth and everything comes out, even clearer than it is in my head. That's what I'm trying to work toward, but I don't think talking to myself will help the cottonmouth.

It's all lost in translation. Still, I can't figure out which direction I'm steering toward, or being steered to. You can't say anything wrong if you don't talk, but then again you're not saying anything.

It's all in my head.

At times life feels like one big experiment. I've gathered my background information, formed my hypotheses, run through my procedures, checked out my data, but I never make much headway in the direction of a conclusion.

So I disregard the data. Revamp my procedures. Throw out the hypotheses.

All that's left is what you already know. There's only so much you can prove, and little more that you can predict.

It could be that I'm just not cut out for this scientist thing. But I might as well try...