It's one of those nights. Well past midnight, most of the lights off, trying to translate these thought of mine into words. Maybe if I close my eyes...

I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do. There are so many things that have happened in the past few weeks and months, but I haven't got to really sit down and figure out which direction I'm being pulled and where I want... or need... to go. At times I feel like a man on a mission, and I walk inbetween the obstacles and challenges before me with an incredible sense of clarity. More and more though, I feel as if I've made too many missteps, and I'm starting to pay for it, with interest. I'm always trying to find my way because I'm always trying to close the space that separates the things which make up my world. It's this space that I'm trying to fill. It's this space where I dream. My dreams are strange these days. But so is my take on reality. That is the process. I don't believe in destinations so much as journeys. I am a journeyman. Hopefully I'm reinventing myself instead of confusing myself. I wonder how it is my feet are on the ground yet my soul is wandering. Looking for a connection. A clue. A purpose. Yet when the earth faces the sun once again I'll be grounded. Unwillingly grounded. Dreaming while I walk and searching while I survive. But searching for what? Only Lord knows what. And I trust in that. Amen.

Let me take you down for a moment, so you may then rise

Who would have thought? Building a soap box car/cart has been a real exercise in how to deal when things don't go your way... and making the best out of a not-so-great situation... and trying to figure out how much you're willing to lower your impossible stardards before you decide you'll take what you've got. Funny, it is. Just like life.

But once we get the wheel on and straightened out, we'll be rollin.

Where is my head right now? Where is my heart? It feels like those times when your heart beats so hard that it could explode, but all you can do is try to grasp what's going on around you... and right now I just... can't.

But it's amazing.

There's something building
I can feel it
I don't know where it's going
but I'm going to ride it
before it crashes around me
damn
am I ready for all this?
who knows?
but I'm not going out
thinking I waited too long

That's how things should be.