Walking away, I caught a glimpse, a hint of reality. My vision sharpened, my pulse quickened, my stride grew confident. Clarified internal mysteries, conquered external obstacles. The world was no longer what it was... until I had another glance. My reality had changed. Walk on, always looking, watching.

What a crazy random day... I really enjoy random days. I actually woke up, though exhausted, coughing up a lung, and kinda wheezing, but happy to be awake. I took my shower, ate my breakfast, and made it to school, slighty late, but at school nonetheless. I walked into the CS building and opened the door to CS 174 real slow so I wouldn't attract attention. I succeeded, but nobody was there to be distracted anyway. Nobody! I guess stuff like that happens when you miss too much class. The syllabus online said it was a review day though... Here's my class attendance for week ten: ZERO. Go seniors!

I studied for a little bit at NACS, where I saw Ryan L and Ernest, who I've bumped into maybe 5 times in the last two days. Such a small world UCI is. When I started to fall asleep, I began to make my way to my car, only to remember it was noon, so I went to mass. It was nice to find some time to give to God. The soup that Father Pat made us eat after mass had ham in it, but Chris and Father Pat tried to take all of it out. I think I had three chunks though... according to Father Pat, it'd be a worse sin to waste it than to eat a little meat. So I had some more. I didn't want it to go to waste...

I then made my way to the bookstore to see if I could get the stats book I needed cheap. Unfortunately, they only had new ones for sixty bucks. I wasn't about to spend sixty bucks for a book I only need for the next three days. I got Christine to hook me up with a discount. Thanks Christine! Forty five dollars, a nap in one of the bookstore armchairs (with a magazine in my lap and my legs hanging off the side), and maybe an hour more of studying at the student center later with Vandai and Maricris, I got the book. In the meantime, Nimz, Christina, Derrick, and Fran were indecisive enough about what to eat that by the time they decided on subway or rice garden, they were closed. Go figure.

After doing stats homework from week one, Maricris and I went to get some Rubios. We had argument earlier about whether fish should be refrained from for Lenten Fridays. I won, but she didn't want to admit it. I got the tres fish tacos and a drink combo for 4 bucks. It's interesting how fast food restaurants cater to us Catholics. I saw a girl I was interested in during the summer there, but I don't think she recognized me. She used to work about the Bank of America down the street, so that summer I used the ATM a little less often... I actually had the balls to speak to her first, because I recognized her from bio classes. I thought about her a little while and remembered seeing another girl I liked back at the bookstore. She was the cutest girl in the honors program, and once in a while we'd talk about how mindless honors class work was. All this just when I decide to think less about girls. It's not like I lost interest in them, but more like I lost hope. I said hi to the one at the bookstore... she's a cool girl. You could say that what interest I had for them before I've turned into admiration--like how you admire a girl already in a relationship, appreciating, but not desiring. I admired two beautiful (and pretty) girls I ran across today. Maybe my time will come soon... according to my YFC brothers and sisters, us singles are a "hot commodity." I'm personally flying off the shelves... I say that with a smile.

We brought the food back to the student center to eat. Somehow, Maricris and I started talking about our Filipino upbringings and how great it is that we can find so much humor in our culture and experiences... funny things our moms would say like "you speak as if you are somebody" and "go ahead. Keep fighting down there until someone dies"... eating without knives, being called over by mom just to open the blinds right next to her...

Maricris convinced me to go to the UCI basketball game against Utah State, the semifinal of the Big West Tournament. Derrick came with us and we stuffed into Maricris' celica. For some reason, there were a lot more Utah State fans than UCI fans... but their cheers sucked and their mascot is a cow. What is an Aggie anyway? Although we dominated the first half, we pretty much choked the last ten minutes of the game, losing by six I think. Cristina was supposed to go with us, so I believe (there's a good amount of evidence) that she jinxed our team. Booooo. We left contemplating keying any cars with Utah licence plates. Hopefully, next year is our year.

Now I'm home again. Back to the books.

Coming home after a good spurt of studying, I walked into the kitchen went into a little fit of rage, despite my very chill mood. There was silverware and a glass in the sink. I'm sure you think I'm crazy now. I've been fighting a battle over the last seven months to keep the kitchen clean. Of all the rooms in the house, I want the kitchen (at very least) to be clean. So I volunteered, for $60 a month, to do the dishes. All I asked was for everyone to do their part: get stuff to the sink, throw away trash, and put things where I wanted them (to keep the mess manageable). Every couple of days, a few of my roommates choose not to listen to me. I've put up signs. They continue to disregard them. Why does it matter? One lazily misplaced glass means at the end of the day, both sides of the sink are piled up and the mess spills over to the rest of the kitchen... no exaggerations This has probably happened more than twice a week on average, sometimes every single day for several days. It boils down to two college graduates (UCI and UCSD) that either can't read signs or are consistently inconsiderate in regards to communal living space. I wouldn't be as mad if they couldn't read. It's not just the kitchen.. it's the bathroom, the dining room, the living room, the electricity usage, the parking situation...
And so I've written one more sign that says "READ THE DAMN SIGNS" and taped it up in clear view. I then proceeded to kick the empty bottle that was sitting on the counter into the dining room and throw the potholder left on the counter out of the kitchen.

Maybe my reaction was slightly unwarranted, but I think there's an underlying issue of respect... or lack thereof. I'll keep fighting it.

Why am I writing this? I guess it's to show that sometimes, you have to step up and assert yourself, whether it be against ignorant roommates, strangers, or even friends. I believe that sometimes you should turn the other cheek, but if you know that someone has the capacity to be a better person, you shouldn't be afraid to butt heads over what you believe is right.

I think the main character in American Psycho said something to the extent of "I like to live my life with intensity." Maybe the context was different in the movie, but I feel like that line fits me, at least at certain times. Once in a while, let your spark become a fire.

This has been my epic, ten post day. I think this is the last one. 16 hours in the life (8 subtracted for sleep).

Walking outside the science library, there was a mob of people I've never seen before in my life just chilling and being loud in the courtyard. It reminded me of how 10th week and finals week are my most stressful, yet for some reason I have no sense of dread, even with finals only days away. During these last two weeks of the quarter, everything seems to come together... or it should. When it does, there's an amazing sense of accomplishment in making it through. If you study on campus, the ghosts of UCI come out--all the people you never get to see because a) they're too busy or b) they slackers. Studying up until sunrise is not that bad if someone else is studying with you. Even around you. I've had my share of solitary all-nighters to testify. I was never one of those people who just wants to get it over with... I always want to walk away knowing that I put in my work, and even when I say I don't care how I did, I do care. I don't put in all-nighters just to pass, unless that's the only option... but that's another story. It's a great feeling to have the cool breeze on your face walking out of the study lounge knowing that you're going to do fine. That's our job as students anyway.

Put my heart and soul into this song/ I hope you feel me/ From where I am, to wherever you are/ I mean that sincerely...

The science library is about to close, and for the past hour and a half, all I've been doing is... sleeping. I think I've been doing the head bob in this swivel chair, but my neck doesn't hurt, so maybe not. It might be a good thing though, because my sleep schedule has been mighty screwed up lately, waking up early tomorrow would set me straight. For some reason, I feel really comfortable in this chair right now, despite its lack of neck support. I feel rested. I haven't felt like this in a while... maybe weeks. Time is ticking... I'll keep going as long as I can.

Tomorrow may never come/ For you or me life is not promised...

I feel slightly more focused now after working out. Why am I still blogging then? I think working out by yourself gets you to really concentrate, first on your sets, then on whatever comes to mind. I was thinking I need to stop letting myself get too distracted. I think for Lent I'm going to take a break from checking out girls... I hasn't been working for me anyway. I'm not closed to anything happening, but I should stop looking for something that isn't there. I know it's not going to be easy, with the quarter coming to a close and my days as a senior (going on fifth year, but still) being numbered, but it's for the best. Girls, make it easy on me by being less attractive for the next several weeks. Thanks...

Back to studying. The stats textbook isn't at reserves, so I think I'll have to buy it tomorrow. How sad is that? I'm buying a book 3 days before the final. Time to get crackin.

5:30, and still haven't cracked open a book yet. My first final is on Monday, and I haven't been to more than five classes, neglected to do any homework, don't even have the textbook, and conveniently missed... the midterm. Don't tell Mom! It's okay, I tell you. You can have the grade on the final as your grade in the class. All I have to do now, is pass the final. First things first though... I'm gonna go to the ARC. Why you ask? I don't know, but I'm more motivated to work out than study right now, and hopefully, that motivation will spill over into studying. Here goes!

In everything, I find strength and courage in You. My inspiration, my motivation, my sense of purpose. May I no longer run alone.
BIL

I'm feelin this.

Tomorrow may never come/ For you or me life is not promised/ Tomorrow may never show up/ For you and me this life is not promised...

I ain't no perfect man/ I'm trying to do the best that I can with what it is I have...

Put my heart and soul into this song/ I hope you feel me/ From where I am, to wherever you are/ I mean that sincerely/ Tomorrow may never come/ For you and me life is not promised/ Tomorrow may never appear/ You better hold this very moment very close to you/ Very close to you/ So close to you, so close to you/ Don't be afraid to let it shine

My Umi said shine your light on the world/ Shine your light for the world to see/ My Abi said shine your light on the world/ Shine your light for the world to see...

Sometimes I get discouraged/ I look around and, things are so weak/ People are so week/ Sometimes... sometimes I feel like crying/ Sometimes my heart gets heavy/ Sometimes I just want to leave and fly away/ Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself/ Passion takes over me/ I feel like a man/ Going insane/ Losing my brain/ Trying to maintain/ Doing my thang.../ Put my heart and soul into this y'all/ I hope you feel me/ Where I am, to wherever you are/ Sometimes I don't want to be bothered/ Sometimes I just want a quiet life, with/ Me and my babies, me and my lady/ Sometimes I don't want to get into no war/ Sometimes I don't wanna be a soldier/ Sometimes I just wanna be a man...
--> Mos Def - Umi Says

Put your heart and soul into your song. Shine your light on the world.

Today, I have the last lecture for two of my three classes. Too bad I missed them both. I think I've only been to class maybe five times since the start of week 7. This always happens during winter quarter for me. I don't know why, but I'm kind of worried. I hope this doesn't carry on through to the rest of my life. I need to stop staying up so late every single night. It's really killing me. I have to change some things... less 11:30 trips to the ARC... more time set aside to study during the day... less procrastinating... no more turning off my alarm only to fall asleep again. Here I go.

A little more than 24 hours after leaving the beach, I have a feeling of peace once again. It's the peace that comes with acceptance, when you start to deal with whatever hand you're dealt. It's not happiness, sadness, regret, or anger. It's peace. I'll continue running.

This is what the name dudes say about my name:

The name of Jason has given you sensitivity and appreciation for the finer and deeper things in life. You can enjoy reading, study, and contemplation about many different subjects. When your interests or curiosity are aroused, you work intensely at new undertakings, but your interests often wane when you encounter drudgery and monotony, with the result that you leave many things unfinished. Your name has taken you into many bitter experiences. The greatest lack in your life is stability and peace of mind. A peaceful and quiet environment, especially out in nature, is one of your greatest desires, but you are constantly taken into chaotic conditions. Because you have high ideals and are a principled person, you have been disillusioned and disappointed in people on many occasions and have experienced much aloneness. You are fond of outdoor sports, where you can find an outlet for your nervous energy. Impulsiveness could bring frequent accidents and unfortunate happenings into your life. You do not like to be restricted or to have your freedom curtailed in any way. You find it difficult to control your thoughts and could swing in moods from one extreme to the other. Your speech can become very critical and sarcastic when you are frustrated or crossed. This name creates a weakness in the heart, lungs, and bronchial organs, and could cause heart trouble, pneumonia, asthma, or tuberculosis. It also creates tension in the nervous system, particularly the solar plexus and stomach, causing nervous indigestion and relative conditions.

I can say that I don't really enjoy reading and study... I don't leave that many things unfinished... I like chaos sometimes... and I don't have extreme mood swings. Most of the time I feel pretty chill. I don't know about the heart, lung, and bronchial organs part, but I used to have a weak stomach... other than that, it's surprisingly accurate. Does that mean I'm predictable? I'm sure it's all mapped out in God's plan though.

I'm starting to feel better, although my thoughts still stir around in my head. I shared some music with Angie and Cristina... it's great finding out people like the same kind of music you do. There's something unifying in music which is so mind-boggling. It can show what kind of person you are or how you think. Even watching the Laker lose today to the Pistons lifted my spirits. Even though I used to live in LA for almost 9 years, I was a Bulls fan from the start. Gotta stay true to where you're from. My Bulls played their hearts out and beat the Lakers yesterday. I was reminded of that game when I saw the Pistons torch the Lakers today by 23 points. They showed how much heart they have too. If I saw that the Lakers showed that kind of heart, maybe they'd get some respect from me. But I digress. I later went to the YFC potluck, and I was only 2 hours late. I figure if there are Filipinos and food in the equation, late in on time. After eating, they sang karaoke... but nobody really sang, we just messed around. It was relaxing sitting there on the couches, everyone just laughing and singing along. I didn't feel like a stranger.

The more and more I overhear my roommates speak, the more I realize how stupid you sound when every sentence you say is strung with f**k or f**king or s**t as an interjection, subject, adjective, adverb, verb, article, conjunction, preposition, or superlative, especially when combined with a negative, pessimistic tone. It really grates on my ears. What good is it to shoot garbage out your mouth even when you talk about things you like? I don't care if people curse when they're mad or stressed, but ten, fifteen times an hour? You've got to use that thing sitting on your neck more often. Might as well grunt like an animal instead of using words if 10% of your most often used vocabulary refers to defacation and sexual intercourse. Change your thinking.

I ran. Not away from anything. I just ran. I didn't feel like walking. My feet are tired, my lungs hurt, and my legs feel heavy. I've always run a little ahead of the pack, but never quite at the front... usually by myself. Once in a while I sprint to the front, and other times I'll jog and mix with the pack; I can't stick too longer with either. And so I find myself now running, with the front-runners in view, the pack a distance behind me, and the only sound I hear is that of my own feet and the wind.

Somebody run with me. If only for a while.

Browsing through some photos on photo.net, I came across this portrait of a guy who looked like he was wearing really light colored contacts. It reminded me of how so many people like light colored eyes and wear colored contacts. If had a choice, I would choose dark eyes over light eyes every time. If they are dark enough, most of the time they seem black. In better light, you might see the slightest reflection, a tiny star. However, seen in the right light, there's an incredible depth to them, like a polished black diamond... revealing very little to the casual observer. Like a foggy window.

I have dark brown eyes.

My window is foggy.

No letting go, no holding back...

An interesting night... The potluck was awesome. I was surprised to see so many people come out. Unfortunately, my arroz caldo took forever and I came late, plus I didn't cook the rice right, so it had that nutty uncooked rice consistency. Whatever I left for my roommates seems to be just picked at. I think I'll try something I've cooked before for the next potluck to prevent any future disappointments. I had some business to take care of during the meeting, which meant I missed a game of mafia and the freakin halo halo... damn. Then, when I finally got to play mafia, I got freakin killed early in the game two rounds in a row! First Em got me, then Dee. Both times, I was a lowly citizen. I think it sucks when you don't get to play through until you get to do some real damage, especially being a citizen. Two times in a row? That's a travesty.

After the mafia games, I decided to meet Joe at the ARC to play racquetball, even though I knew it was closing in 20 minutes. I only played about 4 minutes before one of the workers shut our game down 2 minutes before closing. Boo on that. I didn't really feel like hanging out too late, but I figured I'd just drop back at Interfaith to see if anything was going on. I found everyone being indecisive, as always. I wanted to go home, but not before knowing what they wanted to do. Tired of waiting, I drove Leo to his car and came back in 5 minutes. Tin told them about some beach near Crystal Cove down PCH. I wanted to drive, because I almost always want to drive, but I ended up riding in GP's car. On the ride there, my mood was really mellow and I didn't really say anything. Somebody asked if you could relive one moment in your childhood, what would it be? I wanted to say my childhood, but didn't really feel like saying it then. When I look back to my earlier years, there were very few moments that I can remember ever being happy. I'm not even sure how I made it where I am now. I was one the shyest kids you could ever meet. I didn't really talk to my siblings, and I always felt lonely. In school, I was voted the biggest nerd by my classmates. I don't remember having any kind of self-esteem. It took forever to get over the shyness thing, but I think now I have abandonment issues (or something along that level). The only person that I could have over my house was one of the neighbors, and that wasn't even that often. Even into high school, nobody really wanted to go to my house, mainly because they were scared of my parents, and also because I lived farther than everybody else. Now I have this house in college and guess what? Nobody wants to come over here! I dunno, it could be for fear of my roommates. Who knows? I hope I'm not being bitter. I can't stand bitterness.

We got to our destination and walked down to the cliffs, and I took some pictures. I wished I had brought my tripod. I felt kinda goofy trying to take long exposure pictures with my hands shaking. I found myself gradually drifting off by myself to a dark spot and I sat there, the cold breeze making my head hurt. I've never felt comfortable in large groups. I'm the type of person that gets lost in big groups. If you're lost long enough in the same place... you're not really lost anymore, just displaced... suddenly your unfamiliar surroundings become familiar, but remain unbearably uncomfortable. That's been a feeling I've been fighting in the back of my head for a long time, but I wonder if that's just my selfish desire for attention or my desire not to feel so isolated. I get the feeling that I'm on the inside, in the middle of everything, but like the eye of a storm, nothing is going on around me. Everything moves around me, but I am still. I could swear that sometimes I just disappear.

I'm not sure what spurred it, but I sat on a bench and started thinking about my walk, my journey. I remembered once again that I've gone through most of my college life without a best friend or a girlfriend. I also thought about all the things I've been doing lately with different people... I have great experiences with them, but I don't feel as close as I would like to them. There's a difference between feeling close to a group and feeling close to an individual. I feel very open and at ease with them, but I don't consider myself that close to most of them individually. I started getting songs in my head like Lift Up Your Hands (which always makes me want to bawl) and words from a song I heard on the way there.. something about everybody wanting to give their love away to someone else. I really felt that line. I sat there for about an hour I think, with myself and my thoughts. I kept trying to tell myself to remember that I'm never alone, that He is always there. I prayed for companionship, guy or girl, someone I could talk to anytime, someone to make me feel like less of a stranger, someone to know me better than anyone else, who could understand me. Maybe this is my trial, my struggle. I don't think I'm an easy person to know well, but I try not to hold anything back. In His time...

I apologize to the people who asked me if I was okay, because I lied through my teeth and said I was alright. I think if it was daytime, they probably would have read it on my face. I don't care to fake being happy... I think Em noticed, but there were too many people around so I didn't feel like talking.

I think I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll feel better. I needed an outlet for all this before I let it wreak havoc on my subconscious. My crazy life. Basta Ikaw.

It seems as if everyone is post crazy today, so I'm gonna keep posting throughout the rest of today... this is my fourth post today. I'm going to see if I can make six for the day. Also, it's great reading the little chatterbox things... there are a bunch of random running conversations going... I've been checking everyone's blog/journal every hour or so since I woke up and missed all my classes. I think I'm coming down with something again, because something hurts when I breathe and I feel sorta feverish. On top of that, I have no appetite, which sucks if you're trying to eat right. I hope I don't have the flu again.. it was pretty bad three two or three weeks ago. Damn all the cigarette smoke in the LV casinos. I think I'm sensitive to air pollution.

I think I should start cooking now for the LOG potluck. I hope everyone cooks something. Call me crazy, but I actually like to cook (most of the time anyway). That, and I get a strange sense of satisfaction doing laundry and cleaning our kitchen. Is that good husband material for you or what? (those extra long silences... you know who you are!!) Too bad I won't be eating much tonight. I guess I should take some home =).

Reading everyone else's blog/journal, it's really amazing how this has brought us together. Everyone has their moments, shared or unshared, but I think writing a little bit down every now and then allows the rest of us to feel more on the inside... less out of the loop. That's why I try to write and update so much, because I don't get the chance to hang out and talk whenever I feel like it. It takes me a while to get close to people, especially since I have to do my own thing, and that means missing out sometimes. In that case, I think an invitation, accepted or not, keeps ties strong. There are few worse things (between friends) than feeling like a stranger. That being said...
stranger, friend, or anyone inbetween, this is my invitation to you. I'm leaving the door ajar...

I was supposed to go to bed already, but I went on a mad mp3 downloading spree and found some tight slow jams... some one voice, pinay, dnh, frankie j, and some other stuff. They might make some of you guys sad or depressed, but to me, even the sad ones make me feel hopeful... or nostalgic. I know a few of you know what I'm talking about. It's not always about how you interpret the worlds, it's the soul in the song. It's music from the heart.

frankie j - don't wanna try
drop n harmony - lift up your hands
drop n harmony - because i love you
one voice - you brighten up my life
casper soundtrack - remember me this way
pinay - you got it all over him

I know it might seem archaic with cell phones and cordless phones and headsets, but there's something about having conversations on a corded telephone that makes you feel like you have a actual connection with the person on the other end. Like the sometimes annoying cord that anchors the phone handset to the base, there's a definite physical aspect to it. When I was in high school and I was on almost constant lockdown, the phone was my lifeline to the outside world. Even more than IMs, if I didn't talk to anybody on the phone for a whole day it seemed like the walls would close in on me. The phone we had by the computer (where I spent almost all of my time at home) was always corded, along with the one in the kitchen. At night when I needed to talk to somebody, I would go downstairs and sit on the kitchen counter in the dark, while the light from the keypad would cast an eerie glow on the floor, along with the digital clocks on the oven and the microwave. I would leave the light off because my parents were light sleepers and if they noticed a light in the kitchen through their bedroom window, they'd strom downstairs and yell at me to go to sleep. They never liked the fact that I talked to people on the phone. To them, it took away from the time I was supposed to spend studying. They had this policy (which I never followed) of only staying on the phone for one minute, only enough time to answer a question or ask one. I would've seriously gone mad if they tried to enforce that rule. The more that I felt my growing pains, the more I needed just to talk to anybody who was awake. I remember nights when I'd be on the phone till 2 or 3 in the morning, sitting near the phone. I guess that's why I feel more connected with a corded phone. With a cordless phone or cellphone, you tend to move around and do other things when you talk. When the phone's stuck to the wall, all you get to do (most of the time) is just talk and listen, far less distractions than when you're walking around. The cord almost forces you to keep your attention on the other person on the line. You can isolate yourself to some extent and just... talk.

I think we could all stand to talk more.

I was curious to see how long my last two posts were... 2388 words!! That's the equivalent of just under 7 pages double spaced times new roman 12 pt. font. I think it took more than 2 hours too. I don't know exactly what compelled me to write so much, but I have a feeling in the back of my head that I might forget something happened if I didn't write about it. So much happened that I'm bound to forget a lot of those little moments. Those little moments mean sooo much though. Those are the times that you can look back on and feel so good about. I almost feel nostalgic thinking about it, probably because I know that I'm gonna think back and this weekend will pop up in my mind a lot.

Now I have another day ahead of me. What the heck am I going to do?

It's now 3:45am and I can officially call this weekend over. I think this might rank as one of my all time most memorable/enjoyable weekends ever. It's kinda sad that I'm writing about it now that it's done, but now at least I have a couple of extra stories to tell and reminisce about. Here's my highlights:

Corona Del Mar
After failing miserably trying to wake up for class and stumbing out of bed (even though my mattress is currently on the floor) at 1, I though my day would be a bust. I usually dread those Fridays when it seems like nothing is going on or everyone is doing their own thing. While I was eating, I got a message from Dee that some people were going to CDM at 4. Excited that somebody actually invited me somewhere (unlike for Nathalie's b-day surprise thing *ahem*), I took a shower and somehow left the house at 4:15 with a towel, an extra shirt, and my camera, which I gradually buried over several months of disuse. I arrived at the beach at 4:30, thinking I was missing something, but only finding Leo there. David came a few minutes later. Everyone else showed up a little past 4:45, leaving about 45 minutes of good sun time before sunset. I shoulda known pilipino time compounds depending on the amount of people involved... Leo, David, Fran, Dee, Reg, Michelle, Angie, Kathleen, Christina, Derrick, and I... that equates to mad lag mode. Only half expecting to get even the slightest bit wet, Leo, David, Fran, Reg, Dee, Angie, and I actually ended up soaked and freezing. I think Reg and Fran didn't even have swim stuff on, just their regular clothes. Dee tried to splash Fran and then run away, but got sucked into a sand pothole and ate it. You shoulda been there. To steal a line from Dee's blog: derek, cristina, and kathleen dug useless holes near our blankets. Then Angie demolished their tunnels with a well placed foot. We then proceeded to make a whole platter of dip disappear, along with strawberries and whipped cream. Reg's sweater was pretty hungry too, and had its share of dip. Dee changed into some pants, then ended up soiling herself. There was a funky green wet spot down the middle of her pants! We still haven't determined the exact cause... We ended up missing the change to take a good sunset picture, but you can't get Filipinos into every picture. Deciding on how to get back up the hill to the cars, I suggest that we all get into Dee's car, her ten thousand dollar dodge neon. I still can't believe we pulled it off. Four in the front, five in the back, David half sticking out the driver's window. Non stop laughing for a good three minutes. The little neon actually made it up the hill pretty well. I think we were piled in to the ceiling--I couldn't see the road from the backseat! Dav, Leo and I switched cars and drove to Rubios for fish tacos (it being Lent and all), except I got separated ended up on the freeway.

Rubios
I saw one of my old friends from freshman year at Rubios, Abe. It was cool catching up with him because I hardly see the dude and we had a good time in chem lab. That's one of the great things about college... the huge amount of people you get to meet and see make it through all the stuff you're going through yourself. Reg squeezed lime juice onto some chips. I don't suggest you try it. Seriously. We switched cars again and left for Francia's place. We divied up the fish tacos at Fran and Michelle's apartment and tried to figure out what to do next. Somebody suggested Vegas. Being indecisive as we are, nobody really agreed to go.

Days Vigil
We agreed on going to the Days first Friday vigil in Cerritos, leaving only Kathleen in Irvine. Flo and Nathalie joined up with us and we met at my place. It was nice to see that we were rolling so deep, especially with a good amount of first-timers. The vigil really felt good, being the beginning of Lent and having some probable future Dayzers in attendance. Leaving the vigil wasn't as easy as getting there, once again due to a little indecisiveness. The parking lot circles just wouldn't break up. Nobody really agreed to go anywhere. I think we were considering Vegas, Santa Barbara, San Diego, and the mountains. We decided just to go back to Costa Mesa and decide there. Unfortunately, Leo and Derrick went home. After more debate in front on my house, we decided on Vegas, but Angie, Flo, Reg and Cristina didn't have the time to go to Vegas. I guess everyone has their time to go crazy.

Las Vegas
We drove to GP's apartment to use his ride, but he took some medicine, so Dave drove. We left at 2 am, playing the Hot Seat. Damn, it got pretty hot. People can be pretty ruthless sometimes. We all stayed awake for most of the ride, thinking of embarassing questions to ask each other. In all the awkwardness, we all got a little closer though. We parked at Bellagio and walked around outside, with the wind freezing our faces. The only people on the strip were all running. I think it had to be about 50 degrees. According to our plans, we were only going to stay for five minutes and then leave. We then figured we should at least make one of the breakfast buffets. We walked a long way back to the car with empty stomachs and drove to Circus Circus. Luckily, we didn't have to wait, and our stomachs actually were bigger than our eyes. Some of us took turns sleeping around the table. When we were all awake we went upstairs and played games at the Midway. We all played the camel race game and lost to some kid. Seven of us, and the eighth dude won. Pitiful! David won the second game though, redeeming our sorry selves a little bit. He won an ape with a squished face and brown pubes. We acted like kids and waited for the other half of Midway to open, then we all ran in when they let us in. Gosh, I miss doing stuff like that. I even won a neon green turtle at the tic tac toe thing. We were going to try to get this cool big elephant at the ring toss game, but the dude working it said the changes were slim to none... I believed him cuz I spent like twenty bucks last time I played it without anything to show for it. Guess what? I come back maybe 10 minutes later, and no elephant. The dude said some guys won it on his first two bucks. Needless to say, we were heartbroken. We stayed to watch one of the shows, and took pictures of Fran nodding off on the bleachers. I was expecting trapeeze type stuff, but instead we got Rejean the flamboyant juggler. Fantastic Sams do, twirling, and one leg kicking backwards flamboyant. Looking for more to do, we got back into the car and drove down the strip, bumping some music. We all tried to get Mom (Fran) to groove with us, but she sat there with her arms crossed with a sheepish grin. I don't think Mom appreciated the peer pressure, but we were shaking GP's explorer. Good thing I got pictures.

The Rock Climb
Fran suggested going to Gameworks and climbing the 75 foot rock thing. After a little uneasyness we got everyone to do it. Man, I was hella excited! We even had the belayers (the guys that secure your ropes) time us. Funny, but I was the only guy that got to the top. I did fall about 20 times though, and I had a hell of a time trying to grip the stupid bell ringing string at the top because my forearms were so damn tired. I was stupid enough to go the route with overhangs. I did feel incredibly accomplished though... I was even praying about 65 feet up for God to help me focus. It still hurts to snap. I came down sweating like I ran a mile and the harness having a death pinch on my right nut. I thought I was going to cry, every little bounce hurt. I hit the ground and just lay there for a minute, thankful and exhausted. I went up to the upper level, only to find out Dave and GP didn't make it. We watched the girls climb, and damn, shot to the ego! It took me 9:28 while Nat and Dee both made it in less than 5 minutes. They kinda flew up there. When Fran and Michelle went up, Shelby got tangled up in Fran's ropes and then did this spin on the ledge she was on to untangle themselves. They both came close to finishing, but they were both tired out. I gave them their due props. We all played one of those group racing games, which I sucked pretty well at. I didn't figure out the brake till the second to last lap. We celebrated our climbing experience by giving some money to the casinos. Money was all over the place this weekend.

Stateline and The Trip Home
We finally left Vegas and went to the outlet mall at Stateline to eat. We waited as Dee went to use the restrooms and I think we all passed out intermittently because she went to the food court, thinking we'd be there. At least we got to sleep =). We ate ridiculously expensive food (okay, not ridiculously expensive, but pretty pricey). I had a large limeade from Hot Dog on a Stick. That stuff is great. Unfortunately, it made me go to the restroom four times before we left the mall. That's just too much liquid for one guy to hold on to. We left at about 6 pm and made it back to GP's apartment at 10. On the way we either slept or clowned on each other, especially DJ G-Nat.

BJ's and The Movie
We got back to GP's and watched some tv. Nathalie left and we were hungry so we went to BJ's around 11 pm. We also rented Life as a House. At BJ's, we ended up getting some free pizza while our waitress neglected to ring up our second pizza, so I guess we came out ahead. Fran had a piece of something in her pizza though. We were too tired to complain about it. We went to Dee's apartment to watch the movie. Michelle was out by the second scene and Fran drifted off slowly, leaving David, Dee and I to watch it. I learned that balancing a pillow on your head keeps you from falling asleep. Dave tried it while lying on the floor, but all he ended up with was a sore neck. It was a strange, yet nice movie. Hard to explain. Shelby, Fran, and Dave were snoring in sequence during the last part of the movie. Seeing my ride (David) was long gone, I crashed there

The Morning After
We woke up at 1 to find Michelle gone. Dee and Nat cooked up some nice spam with sugar, scrambled eggs, and rice. Just like breakfast at home. I found out I wasn't the only one that used spoons and didn't use knives. It's one of those Filipino things. I checked my voicemail only to find out I forgot to pick up my roommate Debbie from the airport at 11:30 am. By the time I knew, it was 2 pm. Luckily (or unluckily for Martin) my other roommate Martin was home to pick her up. He was going off 5 hours sleep though, so I'm sure that sucked. I got a ride back here then took a much needed shower and brushed my teeth twice, then chilled with my roommates until 5, then I went to mass.

The Other Movie
After mass and spirit rally practice, GP, David, Dee, and Brian wanted to get something to eat. I didn't want to eat Del Taco with them, but I wanted to hang out a little bit longer, so I got some In and Out and met up with them at Dee's apartment. Brian brought Ringu on VCD, but it didn't work on their dvd player. I volunteered my place to watch it. I was surprised they agreed to go, considering everyone thinks Costa Mesa is hella far, deep in the cuts or something. I really love it when friends come over here. We even dragged Reg away from her paper to watch with us. After the movie, we somehow started talking about feet, scoliosis, and crooked ribs. Personally, I don't think my feet are that bad, compared to other people, but they didn't think so. It was hilarious getting everyone to bare their feet to each other. They left at 3:45, and that's about when I started blogging. Now it's 6 am, and it's getting light outside.

The Aftermath
62 hours, 800+ miles driven, 3 sunsets, 2 sunrises, 5 hotseat questions, 9 meals, 3 changes of clothing, 9 hours sleep, 75 feet of vertical ascent, and countless bathroom trips later, the weekend is now finally over. For all the people I spent time with these past few days, it's been insanely fun. Next weekend? Nah... we've got finals and I need to do some extra hard core studying.

I'm just happy to say "I was there."

Talk about enjoying the chaos. I had one helluva memorable weekend. The best part of it all was that I was able to spend it with some of the most dear people to my in the world. That, and we had absolutely no kinda plans, no luggage, not even one toothbrush or extra "panty" (inside joke). It reaffirms my believe that you can plan and prepare for life only so much; living often means abandoning your plans and feeling naked. Life is most uplifting and enjoyable when you have people along side you that don't mind taking that road with you. More details later...