Apathy, indifference, selfishness and ignorance.
They say the one thing we can count on is change... but I guess now is not the time.
Damn.

Open your eyes.
Doors open for a reason.

let me reminisce for a moment
it's taking me back...

unwound
in a sense of things to come
and things that will just pass me by
i'm waiting for the water to fall from the sky
and quench the stale air that's choking me
my days are long
but my nights are longer
because it's hard to talk to myself
and even harder to talk to You
still, the wheels are turning in my head
so i lay out a little bit of road
for where i go there are no signs
no lines
and no directions
i'm getting wearing of talking
when all i can think of is to act
and try to change something
anything
as i wrap my world around this space
i just realized
i've just unwound myself

Once again. Have I been wasting my time? Damn. This is frustrating. Are you not hearing me? If not, tell me. I don't have the energy... but it's hard either way. I feel like I'm back on the outside. Or could it be that I'm on the inside looking out... seeing my reflection in the window... I just can't see myself in this right now.

Things aren't working out right now. But it means enough to me to fight it anyway. Lord help me. Please.

I'm going off the deep end...
Certain thoughts are sticking in my mind as of late. I find myself questioning more of the things that most people see as normal. It reminds me that I'm not like a lot of people. Sometimes I feel like I'm more different than the same as other people. This is no passing phase. This is my life.

Right now as I try to turn feelings into thoughts and thoughts into words, I feel like I'm losing something every day. Every moment. The more I think about it though, it could be that (more than I'd like to) I chose to fight losing battles. Sometimes the struggle is rewarding, but right now, I don't know what it's going to cost me in the long run. There's little sense in overanalyzing, because I don't have that kind of energy. I don't know if I ever have enough energy anymore...

But I refuse to sit down.

Things seem unsettled...
All I'm sure of is that it's hard for me to wake up. Strange times are these.