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Time's up... I'm sleepy. I have too much to say right now and I'm not functional enough at the moment...

Back to the time warp. Cinco de Mayo rolls around (it's May already?), so the old friends and roommates meet up at El Torrito in Anaheim. Reminiscing about old times and catching up, I feel like I've done myself a disservice in not keeping in contact with them. Life moves on regardless though. It was like it was in the beginning, when we somehow all ended up living together, before the drama and all the stupid stuff we had to deal with. Playing "poverty" games like penalty kick warriors (PK Warriors), home run derby, and tennis with old tennis balls. There was even puzzle fighter. We could have had a poverty game decathalon. A little Laker bashing and everything felt like the fun jobless summer of 2002. Back in Irvine, I squeezed in a quick 20 minute workout before the ARC closed. I think I'll going to be nice and sore in the morning.

I think I underestimated some people. It's good to proven wrong sometimes.

I'm having this dread that I've been letting some responsibilities slip through the cracks and it's going to haunt me with a vengenance. A little anxiety for the calm soul...

More dreams...

1 - driving down some back alley and getting robbed

2 - driving from newport north on some backroad, which turned funny colors (like a Van Gogh painting) and i started going so fast (80+) i hit the curb. i talked to flo afterwards and she said the same thing happened to her

3 - damn, i lost it, but there was a third dream

I love this post-exercise endorphin-induced feeling. Today was a pretty good day too, but not for all the typical reasons. It was still pretty hot, but not nearly as bas as Monday's weather, and I still woke up late, but still made it to my second class (for the first time). I wish I hadn't missed so much of it already, because I took it to learn something about my culture. Damn. Hopefully I won't miss any more classes. I'm running out of reasons to, which helps my cause. I'm still bumping into people I don't see all the time. Maybe I should just spend more time on campus and make the most of the rest of my undergrad life. This is one of those things that I doubt I'll have after this. I went to stats discussion, not realizing we didn't have any material to be quizzed on, but it was nice just to sit in a cold classroom for 20 minutes. Then things blurred a bit... chilling at Cornerstone listening to some girl sing... PUSO... back home... the T-Wolves-Kings game... LOG... seeing a fellow Ayala graduate with Randell and Krsytle... then volleyball at the ARC. It's nice closing out the day letting out the nervous and stressful energy that's been building up the whole day. Too bad we didn't have enough girls to field a full team, but we kept it close for the first game. We got toasted the second game, but it was still a lot of fun. Then a few of us scrimmaged and I got to try jump serves and some hitting. Then we played some pickup with some other people, which is what we really needed. It helps playing with good people too. A little more practice and we could win our next two games.

I'm reminded that's there more out there than what I know now. I should expand my world instead of trying to pull everything in close to me. I just need to figure out what I want from the world. And somehow figure out how if it fits with what He wants from me. I'm still learning...

Sometimes I wish people could hear what I was thinking...

This heat is ridiculous. 98 degrees? What's going on? I can't function in this heat. What happened to that nice coastal weather?

It was one of those days. Last night we stayed out late for Rica's birthday surprise chilling (or warming) in her dorm. I didn't feel like staying up (it was already 2:45) to study for my stats midterm, so I decided to wake up early... but who was I kidding? I woke up at 10:30, only to fall asleep again and finally get out of bed (sweating like crazy) at 11:30. I've been having weird dreams lately too, this time having something to do with getting paid in cash for a job I did and not counting what my boss paid me before throwing it in some bag. Then I ended up losing the bag in my garage. Strange ass dream. I ended up acing (I hope) the easiest test I've ever had at UCI. Go stats! No study sheet, no calculator, no practice problems... nothing under my belt. I was outta there in ten minutes. I had to flip through the test a few times to make sure I was done. I couldn't quite believe it. Six questions, and 3 were multiple choice? Damn, I really lucked out this time.

It's a little disorienting being on campus at regular hours now that I'm going to class. I'm not used to seeing people around. I'm gonna miss it once this is over. I don't look forward to working much at all. Work was a breeze today though, and I even got out and hour and a half early. Sweet. The night was so warm that I rode my bike to campus for my meetings and didn't even put on a jacket or anything. I guess that's the only good part about this heat: the nights. Being indoors is another story though.

It seems like everything is pretty set until graduation. I don't feel like settling down yet though. There's still some time left. I just need to figure out what I'm going to do with it.

Why am I fighting myself over things? Always in conflict... I need a resolution.

Here I am studying the day before my midterm... and I haven't been to class yet. To make things better (read "worse"), the syllabus isn't online and I don't know anybody in the class. Go stats!

I had some strange dreams this morning. I think one of them is recurring too. The first one was a group of strangers (including myself) out somewhere tropical for a vacation. A jet plane flies by and people start talking. Then another plane comes over a nearby hill and then starts shooting at us with airplane gun. I tried to hide under some benches, but they were too small, so I hid on the ramp for a plane that was sitting in the huge lot we were all in. The guy in the plane kept shooting people, and I could feel stuff hit my shoes. After 5 or 10 minutes he flew away. Something like 200 people died. (That's the recurring dream... at least once before)

Somehow the dream morphed into this one: some of the survivors of the attack (maybe 6 or 7 including myself) were playing poker or something. One by one, someone would leave the table, until there were about 3 people still awake. We had these electronic pets to keep us company. A robort thing flew by the window and started scanning for artificial intelligence, so we had to cover the eyes of the electronic pets or we'd be in trouble. I think we saved one of them from being scanned, but the other one got scanned.

Then the dream morphed again. I went to the bathroom really disoriented because I was so tired and was a little paranoid. I was thinking someone was going to attack me, so I kept trying to remember the little escrima stuff I could from my class. It was a huge public bathroom which seemed empty. I was walking through the bathroom and I heard a flush. Some scary looking guy came out and started staring at me. I looked away but he kept looking in my direction. Then he charged at me and tried to bitch-slap me or something, but I blocked him a few times and pushed him back. Then I heard more noises. Out of nowhere Van Helsing appeared and took care of some more guys hiding in the bathroom. He told me that he had to do something for me so I could fight them. When I grabbed him some other guy tried to attack me, so I hit him and he flew crashing into the wall.

And that's all I remember. Damn strange dreams. I can't say they weren't entertaining though.

Hot damn. My head is bumping... and not because I have "unity" punched into my forehead. PCN was fun though. It brought back a whole lot of memories. I regret not joining this year, seeing as there's only the slimmest chance I'll get to be in anything like it anytime soon, but on the other hand, all lot of things tell me it could be time to move on. Time to move on? Dare I say so? For now at least. It's not my time anymore... or it's not my place anymore. We'll see what life is like tomorrow. The PUSO commercial, JuFran, Jolly Bee, San Miguel, Lolo John, the skit and the dance suites... but it's all just as much about the road there as the destination. Even though the feeling was decidedly different afterwards, I was still lucky to reminisce at Yoshinoya's with Geeps, NG, and Dutchess. Just as long as we didn't talk while Dutchess drove... hahaha...

Time to start walking again.