It's a thin line we walk.

Did anyone say to stop running? Or have I just lost the heart to push myself? This comfort zone thing is so debilitating. I started being careful, and found myself paralyzed. Where is that kid that used to jump off the side of the stairs and run across streets only thinking about getting to the other side as fast as possible. Somewhere I got to know fear. Fear of pain, loss, rejection, failure. Many, many bruises and scars later, I'm being lulled to sleep by society's dream of a comfortable existence. This was never my dream. Not a dream of mine. Why am I starting to live it? I sleep way too much. I haven't worked out in half a year. I can't see any floorspace in my room. Before last week, I hadn't washed more than my white in who knows how long. Anything school related I've put on the back burner indefinitely. I've been saving a lot of money, but money well spent is more valuable than money well saved. I've been a friend of convenience instead of a friend of generosity. I can't even say how much food I've wasted because I put in the effort to eat it when it was still good, and I hate wasting things. I have yet to find a date for Med Mission Gala. I have trouble telling Scott's parents I've got to get going when I've got to get going. There are plenty of projects that I've started and never finished. I want to keep growing in my faith, but I haven't taken that leap yet.

Now I feel I must let go of it all.

Enough walking for now.

If you find you're digging yourself a hole too deep to climb out of, sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper...

Though the daylight hours get longer, my days are getting longer. I need to sleep like a normal person for a while. Unfortunately, my life had something else in mind tonight, which ended helping Jei with some surprise for Lisa Marie. The first romantic anything I've been part of in two and a half years, and it was a favor for someone else. What's a guy got to do? It'll be a longer day tomorrow though, so maybe I'll forget again...

Running.

To you.

How many times was the script been rewritten? Perhaps it's not just a rewrite, but a redirection. A redefinition. Somewhere between the black and the white, there a world of color mixed in with the grays. Yet somewhere I lost my focus. Still, as the aimless eventually finds a target, so will I rediscover that ever elusive clarity.

Act 2. This is dedicated to you.

Back from a fun day in Daygo. Picked up some Tim's, ate too much sisig at Chris and Trish's phatty pad, mass at Mater Dei, and back to Chris and Trish's for some jammin and chilling.

Some realizations:
- I'm tired easily now. Time to start working out again
- I shop very slowly
- Of any kind of talent, overt musical talent is intimidating (for lack of a better word), for me at least
- Some people should be banned from the fast lane
- We're growing up.