"China Tea House. Is that like a... tea... house?"
- Marites

The wind is restless.

Up at 8 am to the ever growing monotony that is my room. Never quite finding the motivation to drive to and pay for parking at the "happiest place on Earth" to sell two tickets I should have gotten off my hands far too long ago, I was relegated to fishing out someone who be willing to take advantage of a favorable exchange, yet not without a price. Long I waited before taking some action, yet fittingly on the last possible day. Why I held on to the tickets so long? I don't really know for myself, much less know enough to be able to elaborate in word, but moving on towards home-bittersweet-home I remembered way back--that I was wishing I would find someone willing to slide one of those tickets through the ticket reader... and with myself doing the same right behind. It's one of those places that always seems to ask the question of what kind of company you bring. Having just a pair of tickets tends to limit your options. So a deal is what I made, knowing someone would enjoy the experience more than I would. At least at this point in time. I'd spent more time on the phone tonight than the past few weeks combined, more than 20 calls in all, but the more restless I became as I made my way through my phone numbers, from 'A' to 'W.' I would have gone all the way to 'Z,' but I didn't have any 'Z' names. There must have been a thing about not picking up phone around 11 pm that I didn't know before, but I'll be sure to remember. After a while it started to feel like rejection, but in part, I just didn't want them to go to waste. This journey brings me back to the place I used to know, but so much is different I don't know if I could live here anymore, in this city at least. The calm of the twinkling buildings was enough to keep my mind off of that thought for a while. Catching a glimpse of a more rare light, falling from the sky, a star disappeared into darkness and had me thinking of what to make of all this...

And though I'll never understand it, I'm trying to have faith in the plan. And trying to open something. Be it a window, a door, an eye, my mind, or my heart.

I'm not dreaming.

What I mean to say is I'm not sleeping. Yet.

Day 2 in this experiment called "normalcy." 8:20 am.

Here
we
go

Well, I had a somewhat productive day. I didn't do most of the things I wanted to do, but I didn't just waste my time away. Half of me didn't even want to ring to doorbell of my kid's house to tutor, but instead of leaving early like I thought I would, I actually stayed a half hour longer than I normally do. Tomorrow (hopefully) will be more of the same. I was never one to have a routine though. I'll have to see how this all pans out. There's a lot of driving to be done. I'm getting pretty sleepy now. Getting up early makes me feel old for some reason. Besides the productivity, I didn't really talk to anybody except Hoyce, because she was venting. Which brings me again to this conclusion:

I need to use my anytime minutes.

I have two Disneyland tickets I'll give to anybody to $50 total. The only catch? They're only valid through December 16.

Call me. 949-322-2828

I'll even consider $40

I did it. I'm awake.

Something's amiss

in my life
in the world
in my mind
this week
tonight
right now

but life is anything but predictable in times like these

times like these

I woke up after 2 pm. Derrick and Leo made quick guest appearances at Madrona. I got 2 unexpected no-shows for work today. I bumped into Charlene on my way (late) to work. Time seemed extra slow tonight; the roommates knocked out before 11 pm. I would have washed and cleaned out my car tonight, but I don't know where the garage key is.

I finding it more and more true that happiness truly is all in the mind. It's not something that can be given, bought, or found. Perhaps even, it's not quite understood. It's closer than you think.

So much for my streak...

Sunday. Woke up 7:15 to my alarm, after only 4 hours sleep. Almost miraculous.

Today. Woke up 2:15 to the realization that I have work. Sad but true, it's almost normal.

spending time

Maybe I'll put it down in words. Soon.