i overslept a little

Well... a lot actually. It happens when I have real convoluted dreams. I don't remember the exact flow of it all but I remember:

- I was visiting Chicago
- someone (Balster?) had a cut on his toe that turned out to be cancerous (i saw on the news last night that Tom Brady's knee liagment got infected after surgery). He was pretty nonchalant about it though.
- We moved back to our old apartment, only the garage was now a three car garage and we had the middle space. the crazy landlord actually emptied out the other two sides of the garage which were completely packed with old cars and junk (though she'd never do it in real life). We moved the old cars to the very edge of the driveway and had all sorts of room.
- In Chicago, I went out at night and there were people chilling on top of a smaller building by one of the rivers. I sat down and someone gave me a pizza. A tour boat passed by and I recognized one of my friends on it, so I yelled, "Hey [insert name here]!," and she yelled back, "Hey, you.... human."
- Right after the boat passed my sister came up to the top of the building, carrying her own pizza. She offered me some. I asked her how long she was staying for and she said from the 24th to the 28th.

magnetic

Funny (not really) the things one gets assigned blame for. Sometimes I don't even have to energy to clear things up.

The election is (once again) getting to the point where everything is diluted and twisted and ugly. I really hate how it happens like this. I always thought it was far more effective, not to mention ethical, to appeal to people using logic and reason, and yet it seems name calling and distortion of truth is the method du jour. Maybe it's because so much of politics hinges on self-interest; people forget that the system tries to leverage self-interest into a greater good. I'm hopeful for this coming election, but that's not to say I don't have my fears about it as well.

cascade

The forcast calls for haze all day and into the early morning hours, followed a lot of nothing...

Lately at work, it seems like the problems never stop materializing, and as soon as I knock something down, there's two more things to contend with. To make it even more taxing, I don't think I'm up for it this week. Earning a paycheck is great, but I'm pretty much on the bottom rung on the capitalist ladder, and really, I'm just trying to get by for the time being. There's a whole lot more to life than survival. I remember writing that in a forum somewhere and caught a whole mess of flack for it. Idiots.

I woke up dreaming I got a new phone. That touchscreen blackberry. It was amazing. I don't know how I got it ahead of everyone else. And oh yea, I don't know why I was dreaming about it in the first place. It's not like I have all that much use for a phone... besides work. It's all the non-phone stuff that's interesting to me. I bet I could get along pretty well without a voice allowance. Kinda sad, really.

Today I thought, why is it that I'm getting caught up in things I don't want to be around, while I hardly find myself where I'd like to be?

Halloween is next week?!?!?!

Back in high school, I used to get some crazy stomach aches right before track practice. It was a whole lot of nervous energy not letting my lunch sit right, the anticipation of two hours of sprint workouts boiling in the pit of my stomach. It usually subisded a little while before warmups started. I had that same feeling again on Monday, right before playing ball, only this time it didn't go away. So I started shooting around with my unsettled insides and once we got our game going I forgot about it. Pre-game jitters? We weren't even playing for anything. Maybe it's all in my head, and the energy that you put out is proportional to the nervous energy you build up right until you need it. Then it's game. blouses.

I make a lot of of mental to-do lists, but I usually don't get around to crossing things off of them. Now would be a good time to start.

catching up

... because I'm forever a step behind. Or too many steps away. The distance hasn't been too hard to deal with, but the time... there's no way to make up for the time.

spent

Somehow I'm awake. My body's protesting though. I can feel the ache in my leg bones. My left index finger is all sorts of messed up. Luckily though, I didn't resprain either of my pinkies, which is especially lucky since I neglected to tape them up like I have been doing lately. Plus, I think my right elbow is just about normal again. I think I forgot what it's like to ball sans injuries. I'm looking forward to that.

and so it is

So what?

What now?

I'm not qualified to answer that question. Really, I'm not. Come to think of it, I'm qualified to do very little. Fortunately, that hasn't stopped me from getting in over my head in all manner of mishaps. And I say fortunately, for the lessons are usually worth the bruised ego. Well, the curriculum is a bit difficult this time around. I'd say it's graduate level stuff, and I'm a stumbling apprentice. Despite all that, I can't say it's above me to get a good grasp on this.