I don't know why I'm awake right now. Actually, I don't know how. My eyes won't focus quite right, and I think mosquitoes are trying to suck my blood. Suddenly, I don't have much to say. It's back to Irvine in the afternoon.

Sometimes when I go to work, I read the Wall Street Journal and news online. It helps to keep my sanity when Scott's going crazy. I remember reading about managers. They tend to hire people not unlike themselves, either of the same ideology or an idealized version of themselves. In practice, this doesn't promote creativity or growth, as diverse and conflicting view do not get equal representation. And then I thought about how it can apply to relationships. That search to find something in common. You might just end up looking for everything you want to be about, but have quite lived up to. That's kind of scary. Suddenly I feel I should throw my expectations out the window. I guess that simplifies things a little bit... in my mind...

Man, I'm tired. I haven't felt tired like this in a while. Like I've been walking too long. I can feel it all through my lower legs. It's time to resume my workout routine. That also means I have to start eating right again. Today was a busy day. Three long phone conversations with my mom, my dad, and Regfoo... Scott tried his darndest to annoy me and the Jackson kids attacked me like they always do... Didn't have time to go to the library... split into families in Liwanag, all while sporting the M.O.M. shirts... late night Jack in the Crack with LOG and then PUSO... talking about shoes and #1's... TV delivery to Rica's apartment... Thank God for days like these,

anyone?

I think it's getting a lil crazy outside... I saw a few flashes outside, which could mean the beginning of the rainy season (what a joke) or my eyes are protesting how much I use the computer. I think I heard rain too, but a quick check of weather.com showed nothing was amiss. I neglected to stand up and look out the window though. Geez I can get so lazy. I learned a few things today. Libraries close on Colombus Day (anybody see that a black Integ??), working overtime isn't so bad, relationships are just as impossible/illogical as I think they are, and dreams can really trip you out.

I love the rain. I wonder if library girl does too... I'm freakin dreaming. And so I'm falling...

...forward I hope. That's all running is anyway. A controlled fall.




running

anyone?

And the plot thickens. Wheels are turning. Something may come out of this after all. But who am I to say so? It's not completely in my hands. It never was. I need to do something though, without forcing the issue. Sometimes you have to remind yourself not to just go for the "sure thing." I'm not much in a gambling mood though either. Unless somebody's playing Hold'em.

I think a lot about food. Not just because I love it, but because we need it, but it gests dressed up as an art or a social activity all the time. It was fun eating at India Cook House with NG, BJ and Derrick... knocking back some cold [water] and talking about the ladies. Haha. No comment about the camel balls though. I think I've been a little socially deprived recently. It makes me want to start cooking again. Maybe tomorrow, if I wake up before noon. Here goes nothing...