Three days and no updates? I haven't been this busy in forever. Two midterms, 3+ hours of PCN stuff every night, two intermural teams, all in the same week, with my usually extracurriculars, LOG, PUSO and whatnot. So much has happened that I've forgotten what I've been wanting to write about. There have been the standard ups and downs, frustrations, mixed in with some disappointment, but life goes on. It's funny how certain feelings can change so quicky, while some can last forever... What you get is what you get... but you don't always realize it's there. Ambiguous, yes, but isn't life all the more ambiguous at times?

Tuesday I finally got to buying a new phone. It's come time to retire my monster phone, which has lasted me 2 plus years. It would've gone longer, except I dropped it hard two weeks ago and it's never been the same since. After PUSO, some of us went to Ben and Jerry's for free ice cream. There was mayhem in the parking lot... it seemed like everyone was there for the ice cream. We waited for about 30 minutes for our little scoops, but it was fun chilling and talking and seeing random people there... Phebes, Kevin from senior suite, the PCN freshmen... Afterwards, I went to Liwanag, but left early to play volleyball for PUSO intermurals. I didn't want to leave so early because people were opening up and I wanted to say something too, but I've already ditched once, and we had to forfeit. Unfortunately, the other team forfeited this time, so we scrimmaged with them after their other people showed up. Man... they killed us. Just on the serve. I think some other people are coming out next week though, so we'll be better off. I went back to Interfaith for boba, then went to PCN practice. No studying...

Wednesday seemed to come and go. I think I missed my first class, and just barely paid attention for my other class. I went home and cleaned up around the house a little, then went back to campus for PCN practice again, trying to study because my history midterm was coming the next morning. I went in my slacks and nice polo shirt, but I guess we weren't dressing up yet because I was the only one. All dressed up and nowhere to go. I got a little frustrated because people were screwing up... because they were drunk. It's kind of weird for me, not having drank ever, yet always being around it. I can't say that I've ever felt the desire to drink either. I guess when the day comes that I feel like drinking, that's when I'll drink. That doesn't mean I will, though.

After practice, Charlene, Gerald, and my roommate went to study at the science library till 3 am, then at our house till 6 am. I slept on the couch so I wouldn't oversleep, and we pulled through our midterm fairly unscathed. In discussion for that class, I got my paper back, the one I turned in 2 days late. Turns out I got an A-, down from a straight A. Not bad for no motivation! I picked up my new phone and went home, expecting to get some stuff done, but ended up playing with my phone. Back to PCN practice at 5, but we didn't start anything until 8. I even played my intermural bball game and they still were only half way through. We got toasted by the other team, but I did make my first points, a 3-pt bucket. Swish.... Went back to PCN (it's like a recurring theme... back to PCN) did only one run through, which was still kind of screwy... those drunk seniors don't dance very well... and they can be really ghetto. Ghetto and freaky, but thankfully not very obnoxious.

I left early to study for my physics midterm the next morning (that's 2 in a row), but couldn't even crack the book open, so I slept and got up at 10 am. Did I study then? No. Got to campus at 12. Did I study? Well, no, but food is important. I finally got crackin after 12:45, rushing to write down 5 chapters worth of physics formulas on an 8 1/2 by 11 sheet of paper. The two guys sitting across from me were doing the same, so I didn't feel that bad. The midterm started extra late because the TAs took forever to get the test out and the seat assignments were arranged by seat number instead of ID or name. Not too smart. At least I wasn't the only one who didn't finish. In fact, about 99% of everyone was still working when time was called. I met up with Maricris, and we ate by BC Caverns (because it was closed) and got hookups from Liza at ZotZone. I had an urge to check out the vendor fair and bought one of those self-sustaining ecosystems with brine shrimp (because it's cool) and a leather case for my phone. I checked out rings for a while, but couldn't justify spending any more money.

I left for the PCN run through at 5, except we didn't start anything until maybe 7:30, so I chilled, downloaded ring tones, and tried to fall asleep. It's not easy falling asleep in the middle of 100 people doing their own thing. I even made a food run before senior suite was due up, and for some reason they started the whole run-through over. So I tried to sleep again, but still no luck. Finally, we got to do our thing on stage, in full costume and everything. I'd say we did pretty well, besides the random misstep and my couple of mistakes. I think it happens when you wait too long and you get anxious. They were supposed to preview commercials for us, but they ran short on time, although we did get free pizza. I even managed to buy tickets off people for my friends. I'm excited now, because I'm sure it's going to be a good show, and at least the senior suite is having fun. Go Seniors! Class of 1999! and 1998 I guess... and the one from 2000... 14 hours till PCN!

how can i
deny
what i feel
in my heart
when i know
that there might be something
something...
something about her
when i'm trying hard
not to look for
what might not be there
so i won't admit it
and i won't say it
out loud
only in my head
almost as if i would like
to keep it there
and enjoy the way
things are
because there's no expectation
no waiting
for something to happen
just circumstance
coincidence
maybe luck
and if our paths
might meet somewhere
well, that's up to Him
just trying not to overanalyze
or plant thoughts
in my head
over what's less in my control
than i choose to accept
so i walk
trying not to glance back
even though i trust
my feelings are sincere
but in that trust
the little i know
is that things must run their course
as i must do
and keep the stars
in my eyes
from blinding me
so i walk
and remind myself
to let go


i wonder though
if ever...
we'll walk together

Who needs class when you have extra-curriculars? Hmm... no class today, even though I woke up on time and all. Something was keeping me from getting out the door. Possibly hunger... or Gran Turismo... or talking to my roommate. I wanted to buy a new cellphone today, but my current phone is just about dead. That last drop really put it out of commission. It was a soldier though... two years plus and countless abuses, and it still worked. Granted, it was huge, not quite Zach-Morris-Saved-by-the-Bell style, but like the old Nokias everyone had, but with a double thick battery. Make fun all you want, but the charges would last forever. I had PCN practice at 4, which was unexpectedly tiring, but fun at the same time. It's starting to look really tight... I wonder what we'll look like in costume and everything. The atmosphere is so chill and relaxed that nobody really stresses and there's plenty of stuff to laugh about. That's three times, not two... yes, three... two plus one... Nolan the dancing queen... I hope senior suite is this enjoyable next year too. Afterwards I worked out with Alvin, and I was supposed to meet my roommate there, but I didn't see him. I hit everything except chest and triceps, which means I will be incredibly sore in two days, with more PCN practice and intermurals... not to mention lack of sleep... oh yea... and my two midterms this week. Strangely, I kindoba like having all this to do. It's far better than just sitting at my computer watching the hours pass as I figure out what I can do instead of read, study, or do homework. Perhaps I could sl... e... e... p...

Yea, I'll sleep.

What a weekend. I jump started my weekend (no, not really) by missing class, buying groceries, staying home and playing gran turismo. I started playing... I look up. 11 pm. Keep racing. Look up again. 12:15. A little tired now. Keep racing anyway. What's the time again? 1:30. But I'm almost done... one more race. 2:00. Damn, I have to stop eventually. 2:30. Homeless outreach was in 5 1/2 hours. So what time did I actually go to sleep? Sometime around 4. Miraculously wake up right at 7, take a shower, roll over to campus, happy to see that I wasn't the first one there at 8:10. Homeless outreach went great, with something like 55 people helping to pack. I actually got to do some mad lunch bag-packing, which I usually miss from oversleeping. Unfortunately, I couldn't go to LA to hand out the lunches because of PCN practice.

I was bummed, and for the first half hour, I was just waiting for senior suite run through to start so my forced absence from the homeless outreach wouldn't be in vain. I undid and redid and undid my lanyard to pass the time. Once we did our run though (which we managed to screw up in many wonderful ways), things started to loosen up and eventually it was lunchtime. I ate with Jenna, Joe, and Ryan at Pippin. I was pretty strange eating there again, after freshman year having my meal plan and everything. The server at the omlette station wouldn't let us get two plates, so we had to ditch our first plate somewhere and get back in line. Sometimes you just have to work around the system to make things work for you. After finishing my food... and Joe's omlette... and Ryan's eggs, we strolled back to the Cross, amazed at how much time disappears in the dining halls.

We got back and Alfredo ambushed us with his bow and arrow (watch the PCN commercials). Everything was chill and people were eating or just hanging around. Somewhere a volleyball appeared, so a bunch of us passed it around in a circle for practice. That NG foo got so into it she dove onto the pavement. Gerald got tackled by a pole running for the ball. When it was time for senior suite run through again, we managed to botch it up thoroughly in similar fashion to our first attempt. Go Seniors! A few more suites did their thing before the massive water fight, a PCN tradition. If I had known earlier... A couple of people were trigger happy, which kept stalling things, building all sorts of anxiety. I was in the right mind to save my shirt so I'd have a dry shirt to wear later. The first two minutes were fairly uneventful. Just a lot of spray, which I avoided... then the madness... the hose came out... alliances were broken... Uriel shot me... I nailed him hard with a balloon... I collide with Karl and almost fall down... stealing other peoples' balloons... I ripped a small balloon at Oliver but it didn't pop... Oliver screams in pain... I hit Josie point blank... Josie unloads her super soaker into my chest... damn, those super soakers are strong... I empty a bucket over Kristina's head... Wendy shoots me from behind... I nail her back... balloons fall from the sky (the upper level of gateway commons)... dry people are hosed down... man, it was great. I haven't seen so much mayhem in a long time. Since I was soaked, I agreed to be in PUSO's melon commercial, but the taste stuck in my mouth for a long while after that. Melon was in my hair, in my shirt, and it was burning my eyes! I started feeling all this pain in my sinuses, like I just woke up with a cold. After I threw on my other shirt I rolled home to shower and get the cantaloupe taste out of my mouth.

I called Fran to see what else was going on. Beach. CDM. Now. Alright... out the door again! I get there and I find out the parking isn't free anymore after 6... it's free after 8 now. I run down the driveway because it was going to be sunset soon and I didn't want to waste the daylight. I couldn't find anyone though, and my phone was being difficult, so it took 10 minutes to make 2 phone calls. I found Reg, Em, Nim, GNat, and Derrick building a castle. And a wall... with some kids that were there. I grabbed a shovel and assisted their wall-building efforts and we managed to make a decent size wall all around the castle before the water could screw things up. When the kids left they actually remembered my name, even though I didn't introduce myself or anything. I thought that was pretty cool of them. I didn't even get their names down. Fran and Sonny came, and by that time, the sun was almost down, but we refused to stop, so we "played" some volleyball and catch with the football Mom bought. When we couldn't see anymore, the girls lay on a sleeping bag and talked, keeping the guys from stand around. Derrick and Sonny wandered off, and pretty soon everyone went off in the dark, leaving Nim and me to freeze on the freaking sleeping bag. When everyone finally came back, they managed to stall (and sing songs off-key... hehe) before we went back to our cars. Why stall? Why not? Anyway, we picked up our cars from campus and rolled to Fran's apt for some Fusion Frenzy madness. Geeps met up with us there and the girls managed to fall asleep. That NG foo moaned hella loud while we were beating each other up. What (who) was she dreaming about? We playing Dead Or Alive 4 player tag team and picked the girls based on their looks. That strategy worked too. We ordered pizza and people crashed right after eating, so some of us played the finger game. Why? I dunno.

We woke up (myself, with a spider on my shirt) and then split up, to shower then meet at noon mass. Two guys had their first communion... which reminded me of baptisms... which reminded me of our Herbal (Spiritual) Essences commercial, so I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. Afterwards, Errol, Gerald, Alvin, Jacki, and I ate at Tenko's, even though there was a potluck (the standard Albertson's chicken and potato salad type of deal) after mass. We came back to Interfaith and watch the TWolves choke in the 4th quarter (booo...) then go on an Easter egg hunt. With real eggs. And yes, a week after Easter Sunday. Then, mafia. Geeps and I were mafia, but somehow we let the game slip away, but Em foiled our plans with her indecisiveness (motem... and Jason is on my left). I went to look at phones to replace my battered old phone after mafia, but stores were closing and I only checked a few out. I came home, only to find out our future living situation at our house is in jeopardy. They're raising the rent by $300 in July, plus they want us to sign a new lease. And we're loosing two roommates. So that means the rest of us have to find a new place, or find at least two new roommates and hope that we still qualify to live here. I'm going to be so sad if we have to leave here. Living in a house is so much easier and more convience than an apartment could ever be, especially with parking... and noise... and space... the list goes on. I don't think I can afford much more than $300 a month too. I can only hope...

I went to PCN practice at 9, where we polished some moves and actually did a error-free cha-cha sequence. Everything is coming together nicely, but I still don't know where in the formations I am because I've switched partners so many times. Oh well. I'm a little excited about this week, even though it is hell week, plus two midterms, but I know that by the same token, I'll have a lot of fun. I got back at 12, and now it's about time to sleep. I just with I could have this much fun during the week.

Peace out.