no refuge

I'm under subconscious assault. These dreams are so confusing. How is it that waking dreams are so clear and yet the subconscious ones are a different story altogether. And as interesting as the story is so far, it's starting to throw me for a loop.

convoluted

New developments... more uncertainty... and new doubts. Your timing is... ridiculous. But then again, the timing of everything this week has been off. The only simple solution in this mess is to do my own thing. Unfortunately, that's not what I usually end up doing. I've got a rep for doing things the hard way. So if this plays into things the way you like, so be it. I hope I'm not going to regret wanting to see this through.

hi meechy. this is late. i know. outshout.

Somewhere in the risk-reward equation, there's consequence, that aspect of reality that never makes any of this math easy. I need some of this to balance out.

infiltration

I had an extended nightmare about work today. It started off alright, then snowballed into ugliness... like every decision I made was the worst one I could have chosen.

That can't be good.

storms

I really screwed up at work today. I didn't even make it in to work actually... I ended up turning around and licking my wounds. Work hasn't been the first thing on my mind this week. I haven't worked since Sunday and I'm more than broke. The storms rage on. My mama was born on this day. I saw some "family" pictures at home. My neck feels like I've been in a collision. I'm tempted to throw my phone as far as I can at times, but end up ignoring it for the most part, which hasn't been hard by any means.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

If I was an NBA team, I could trade away my situation (Kwame) for something of value. There's a reason for all this right?

this hope business is getting audacious

equivocal

i don't know what you did to me

i was doing alright

and now?

i'm cleaning up a small train wreck

you don't even know...

i don't think i'll ever make sense of you

and you...

i'm reserving judgement

until i figure out what happened

it is what it is

i'm all out of sorts

forgive my impatience

i'm not up for playing games right now

how's it gonna be?