What a lazy day.

I watched Pirates of the Caribbean today. Here's to movies that can make you forget how long they are... and that it's just a movie. Screw overcritical critics, just looking for a bone to pick. As long as I'm not disappointed, it's all good. Arrrr...

Imagine what would happen if for every person you walked by, every soul you passed, you saw what their day was like. Imagine what it would be like knowing everyone you've ever been around. Each person has their own agenda, own style, own feelings, own experiences. Could I just be going about my life like billions of other people? What if we were all parts of some great big machine... Would I just be another cog in the system? I'm always wondering what other people might be doing right now. Or next week. Or the ret of their lives. What about that old friend... that clerk at Lollicup... the telemarketer that conned you... the janitor of your high school... the weatherman... the cop that pulled you over... the homeless lady picking up cans... the guy from your dorm who never left his room... the UPS guy...

Could it be that too many people have become mush in the pot, being stirred around until the lumps are gone? Once you read into it all, you realize that you really can't control anything. Only God knows what were all doing. Is there a point in meeting new people if you can't keep in contact with the ones you've already met? It's not such a small world out there... the only thing you can truly know is yourself, and that's never a given.

Life is far too incomprehensible to go through it alone.

I don't know why I feel so worn out today. I woke up and I had 6 voicemails waiting for me. I checked... mom, dad, mom, mom, mom... and mom. Great. Turns out I overslept by 2 hours, missed the inspector at the body shop, and the call from the other adjustor, although she didn't even have my correct number. I called the adjustor to run through the claim to make sure everything was cool. My dad went ahead and gave her all the information, so I just confirmed everything. The funny thing was I really felt like having a conversation with her. She was nice to talk to, and she sounded like she didn't have a care in the world. Add that to the fact I haven't had a good conversation with someone in a while, and she sounded pretty young, and I was thinking she lived in the area because we work number was a 714 number... it sounds kind of sad, yes, but whatever. I half entertained the idea that I might call her back and just see if I could make some small talk, but the more I thought about it, the less I felt like doing it. I can always dream...

I went to Costco for a chicken bake and to pick up the pictures I dropped off who knows when. In the parking lot, some lady in a Jaguar honked twice at me because I was letting someone clear out. Ooooooh... I wasn't happy, but I smiled and let another lady go ahead in front of me and I took my time. No impatient parking lot queen is going to spoil my parade, even though it's not much of a parade. For some reason I just went around smiling at people at Costco, besides the time I spent staring at the people who go around oblivious to everyone around them. What a way to go through life.

Finally getting home, I prove once again to my mom that the freeway is a good thing. I arrived at the body shop a full 15 minutes ahead of her. She wanted me to follow her and take surface streets in the 90 degree heat. Ridiculous. After the car was squared away, we went to Enterprise (next door) to get a rental car, but they didn't have anything less than 29 bucks. We went to the Diamond Bar Enterprise and they had a Saturn. The guy working there reminded me of my old friend Joseph from high school. I could imagine that what he'd look like in ten years. He even spoke like him too. Trippy. I got some boba at the Lollicup there (buy 1 get one free!) and the Enterprise guy told us we could upgrade to a Cavalier for free, but it was in Chino Hills. My mom went home and one of the employees drove me over to the other Enterprise in Chino Hills. We talked about working and driving, comparing valet to his job, how old people don't drive fast and complain, but never to your face, and cops. When we arrived, there was a Hyundai Sonata with power windows and locks, and he let me upgrade again for me. Good stuff. I love when the people you have to deal with in situations you usually dread put you at ease. They can take so much stress off your shoulders.

Back home, I cut my brother's hair, watched some police video show, endured more prodding and interrogation regarding the MCATs, and finally rolled back to Costa Mesa with some food. I felt tired driving home for some reason. I think it was a combination of the stressful day, blurry eyeglasses, sucky Hyundai seats and ergonomics, and food coma. Plus I feel sticky because I didn't have time to shower before I left for home. A shower sounds good right about now. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to when I get out. At least Malcolm (the cat) was found. Somebody found him and he ended up in the pound. Maybe I'll talk to him.

Days go by... where did they go?

This whole rear-end collision business is wearing on me. I filed an initial claim, then I washed my car and found additional damages, and left a few messages... went to the auto body place in walnut, about 20 miles from our house driving on surface streets because my mom can't drive freeway, and besides that she was going 5 under the speed limit in the fast lane. I'm sure that made several drivers' days. I spent more time calling the adjustor and trying to get all the information to my insurance company, but I just ended up being on hold for a total of something like an hour. My dad drops by after work and talks to one of the mechanics, and we decide to come back later. My mom then gives me all kinds of grief for wanting to come back to Costa Mesa. Her reason? So that I can call the adjustor in the morning. As if I'm incapable of making a phone call by myself. I had all the information, and I was the one making all the call anyway. Things weren't going to be better back home, with the heat draining all my energy away and giving me a nice headache. I missed Liwanag again because my mom thought it wouldn't be alright for me to make a call from my place in Costa Mesa. The worst part is I woke up at 10 and she finally stopped resisting. All that fuss over keeping me another 4 hours, which I just slept off anyway. It wasn't a good sleep either, because the heat was really getting to me. I wasn't too happy when I couldn't fall asleep either because I slept too much. Arrrgh.

I woke up to my adjustor's phone call, and I finally dished all the info about the collision to her. I filed a separate claim for the damages to the rear passenger side door on my car, which was banged up last September (specifically the 5th, which I was able to determine through the wonderful technology of the digital camera and computers). I really don't care if it's fixed now, because we have to fork out $500 for the deductible. I could really use that money to pay the bills right now. Or pay for the MCATS. Or rent. Etc. I don't want my parents to think that I'm really struggling with my finances right now, even though I am, although I did try to get my point across. $500 to fix a dent in my car door when I have overdue bills and only $100 in my checking account. Great.

I fell asleep after the speaking to the insurance company, awakened every so often by a call from my mom, who kept telling me the same things... it got to the point where I just said "okay mom" every time I heard a pause and just blocked all her other words out. She's real big on the repetition method. Even if I know exactly what she's going to finish saying, she just keeps going, no matter what I say. I think I racked up 3 hours in talk time in the last 2 days, more than I usually use in a whole month.

I went to our PUSO board meeting. It was good seeing people other than at the ARC. A few of us ate at Alejandro's (not Alerto's, which is off Brookhurst in Westminster), then I got a ride to my car from Ed, but I chilled with him and Joe for a while before I went back home. I helped my roommate search for Malcolm (the cat) outside. He disappeared today. I hope we can find him. It's kind of bad knowing pets aren't allowed here. It's very possible that a neighbor found him and called animal control or something. He was one cool cat, except when he wasn't. You could say we was like a half-dog, half-monkey, part-sea otter cat. Sometimes he'd be all uptight and pissy like a stupid cat, but most of the time he was cool. Poor Malcolm. He could be out there crying in a cage or something. I hope he's being taken care of. I didn't think I'd care so much, but it was sad seeing his little blue food bowl left outside the front door. Cute, but sad at the same time. We looked around the block with a flashlight, but with no luck. I left to go to 1506 Darthmouth's moving out party. There were too many SPOPpers, so I chilled with the non-SPOPpers out in the patio. I came home and the food bowl was still outside...

July. The 6th. It was much cooler in the morning than the two days previous. I woke up wondering why I wasn't sweating. I resorted to watching the Real World and Who's Got Game before I had to quiet my increasingly angry stomach. Feeling the need to "fight gravity" (as my roommates put it) I rolled to the ARC. I pulled to a stop on Bison and East Pelatson, looked down and then got reacquainted with my headrest. The 4Runner had so much momentum that my car hit the Mercury Sable in front of me. Normally I don't sit my foot on the brake after I stop, because a stick shift doesn't idle forward when you're not braking, but for some reason I still had my foot on the brake. I didn't see Pablo coming...

Two large holes in my bumper. Sucks. The trunk was dented up pretty well too. I thought about the dude who hit my rear passenger side door about a year ago and didn't bother leaving a note or anything. If Pablo hit that door, then I could get it fixed up. Oh well. We exchanged information, but he didn't have his license on him. The other driver, Matthew, got pretty pissed off and told him if he didn't have a valid license he'd make sure Pablo got a ticket for it. I felt sorry for Pablo. He worked at one of UCI caferterias, so I know he couldn't have been well off. I just hope his insurance is valid and it can cover all the damages, because I don't think he'd be able to cover it out of pocket. I'm not looking forward to losing my car during the repairs either. I'm not quite sure if it will affect my resale value either. At least nobody got hurt. It could have been worse. What if I wasn't braking? What if he was going a lot faster? What if he was driving a raised truck? I wonder if my parents will try to put some of the blame on me...

At mass the priest talked about mistakes, specifically about how parents try to set a perfect example for their children. What ends up happening though is that the child is led to believe that perfection is what is required of them and they tend to hide their mistakes and they don't have much of a chance to work through them and learn from them. Some of the best learning experiences come from mistakes, even if at the time they may seem huge. The same can be said about leaders; no leader is perfect. People need to understand that it is far more important to deal with the mistake than to assign blame. The preist also talked about feeling helpless in seeing other people in pain. You can't empathize with a person if you always have something to say when they're experiencing something traumatic. Often what you say trivializes what they're going through. In your own feeling of helplessness, there is an acknowledgment that their pain is real and you're able to comfort them with your presence alone. He went into the subject of weakness, and how people tend to ask for strength in hard times. He said that weakness is essential is recognizing that you can't do everything by yourself. That's where God comes in, sending someone to help you through. I wonder what life would be like if I believed everything that I gained was by my own accomplishment and I didn't need anyone else's help.

After mass, Chris, Karen, Gerald, Boraccho, and I watched Terminator 4 at the ghetto Woodbridge Cinemas. I liked it, though it could have been more solid on the plot level and it seemed a little short. We chilled for the obligatory 30 minutes in the parking lot, talking about kleptos, people who hit parked cars, rear end collisions, and crazy car antics. I hope T4 comes out.

I'll be looking in my rear view more often...