set it off

I'm in a bit of a dark place right now. It seems it's due partly to being pushed here, and partly because I walked the rest of the way myself. I don't want to be here. But I won't deny that sometimes I need the contrast. Someone went and turned off the lights on the way out, not realizing there were others in the room. So I make the best of things. Exercise a little more caution. Relearn to trust my better instincts. Balance hope with realism, but never let it be extinguished. Trust. For the time being, I can hardly take a confident step. I think I'd rather run before I walk.

I'm not going to mince my words. Somewhere along the line, people have picked up the wrong translation. What is it about a dying language? You try everything in your power to keep it alive.

find me

refreshed

sleep at work
a little tennis old school style
cold shower
on to glendale for cool girl's bday dinner

uhhhhh

I have work in less than 5 hours.

complexities

Every story has it's own layers. I'm trying to add some transparency to mine, and let some light shine on what been under the surface.

point

So far, so good. Another small step in the right direction.

Man, the new K-Os album is hotttt.

I think I'm finding my motivation again. I think a few people are. It couldn't have come at a better time, with a general malaise seeming to affect a lot of people around me. This is no strictly individual thing. This is life.

closing in

There a things you feel like you've got a good grasp on, yet the more time goes by, the more you know that you're only five steps out of the starting blocks. This year, I'm pushing more than I ever have. I know I'm not ready, but my heart's in it.

scrambled

I think I lost my ATM card. Not good.

I filled up at Costco today. 33.6 miles per gallon. That's the best I've ever had. I also have 95% less road rage. Drive slow homie.

Hopefully, this Lent will let me produce more out of less.

respond/react

To the girl who flipped me off today:

Why were you so angry? I didn't make you late for class. I didn't cut you off. And you had plenty of opportunity to go around me. I'm not mad. Only curious. I had the right mind not to react. So this is my response. Whether or not you read this (which is highly unlikely to begin with), it's more important that I respond in a more thoughtful way. Don't take your anger out on other people. It doesn't matter what kind of day you were having or what mood you were in, that's your own deal. Keep it to yourself. I hope you had a better day than I did. Because I had a good one.

Lent is starting, and I don't know exactly what my plan is... I think I'll start with a few things, and maybe I'll go off that. No sleeping in? No unnecessary spending? I should try something on the proactive tip. Here goes.

what if i do?

Workout and basketball, cooking and cleaning, listening and talking, and movies and blogging to finish off the day. It's been a long day. I'm looking at more of the same tomorrow. That's a good thing. I mean, why not?

Man, it's effin nice outside right now.

I should be at the park or something. It would be a damn shame to spend the whole day indoors. Good thing I didn't.

stripped

if that's what you want
away with the fronts
the costumes
the armor
and the walls

i am
naked

it's easy to forget how cold it is
once you're exposed

sidetracked... i'm at work. blogging on my phone. this is great. i had a hell of a time sleeping last night. first it was too hot, then i woke up at 4 am feeling like i got hit in the nose... by the time i had to wake up, i only got 4 hours sleep. two sundays in a row now. but it's all good. today's starting out alright.