If I painted a picture right now, I might run out of blue paint. I come to appreciate this as my element. Blue is my color.

Today I cut my dad's hair, sent some news by email to my sisters, helped my brother with his ics homework, and tired to take care of my mom. I feel called to be the emotional and spiritual glue for my family, but I can't even help being torn apart inside.

I know I'm not ready. But that's not what's been asked of me.

I feel like I've been tested today, but not in the most obvious ways. Still, I'm not where I could be. I'm not where I should be.