Did I forget how to walk or something? I feel like I'm stopped dead in my tracks... watching the world turn.

Strange days. I couldn't extract my limp body from the futon I call my bed until noon today. That meant I scratched a few things of my mental to-do list. I surprisingly made it to Fullerton for my free eye exam in 35 minutes, but stayed late to look at some frames. Even with a 25% discount, I'll be spending $240-$300 on a new pair. My prescription didn't even change that much either. I guess I was about due though. Not to mention I had one of the most thorough eye exams I've ever had. My eyes are worn out. Then I squeezed through traffic like a snake and made it to work in 21 minutes. It would have been 20 had it not been for some evil red lights. Then it all came fast and furious. Work. Madrona. HSO prep. Shawshank for Dave's birthday surprise. Madrona again. Jack-N-the-Box to drop off my camera with Vince. Chino.

Tomorrow brings appointments, HSO, birthday dinner, work, video editing, more work... I'll be neglecting my bed for a while.

Things are coming full circle now. Wow, this is life. Growing up with friends... so many birthdays (and so close together)... death (not to exclude resurrection)... baptisms (babies and adults alike!)... moving (the end of the Madrona Era... damn, that's a story in itself)... anticipation, reminiscing, frustrations, victories, setbacks... and change. There's been so much change lately. Either that, or I've just started to notice it now. It really feels like the doors are closing are me, but who am I to regret anything? Instead, I wonder what doors He could be opening now.

Suddenly I have all the time in the world. Thank you Lord.

Good morning. Or good noon. It's morning to me at least. I just got up. Let's see... laundry... cook lunch... shower... video editing... eye appointment... tutoring... hso prep night... go home. All in a 12 hour space. Here we go.

It's good to step away from your plans sometimes and spend time with people you don't usually have the opportunity to spend time with.

Two crazy dreams in the same morning. Dream 1:

I met up with Joyce and some others at a Filipino restaurant. There were long rows of tables like a cafeteria, and it was a buffet. They were almost done eating, so I told them to wait for me while I got some food. GP was there too, but he was sitting away from the others, and he didn't finish his food yet, so he asked me if I wanted his food. I went to get my food and the drinks were in a separate room in the back of the place. I asked the lady there if she could get me one of the drinks from a large punch bowl. I forget exactly what it was, but she scooped out some milky liquid and a grip of pineapple, but it looked like it was half rotten or something. The lady was saying it was still good, so she started to pick off the rotten parts. There was so much pineapple in my cup it took forever to take the rotten bits out. I checked out the other drinks while I waited, but didn't think it would be a good idea. I was getting anxious from waiting so I sat down and zoned out. Finally, the lady finished and gave me the drink, so I walked back to the table and everyone was gone. All that was left was a single plate of pancit, and half of it was already eaten.

Dream 2:

(Quick background... this was a recurring dream of some sort) I was in Baja California. I don't know if I lived there or was visiting or something. I was right by the water, and the land was so narrow that I could throw a rock from the west beach to the east beach. (The first time I had this dream, there was a crazy violent shootout at a restaurant I walked into, with snipers all over the place). I went into the same restaurant and now there was Jack (a guy I knew from back home) and he was arguing with another guy. I knew they were going to throw it down, so I backed up and slid under a table. The other guy pulled some bizzare martial arts moves with a blade I believe and killed Jack.

Dream from last week:

My brother built a complex looking antenna. I didn't know what it was for, but he put it on the roof above the garage, right outside the computer room window. I asked my dad about it and he said people were able to get some signal, according to a little red light that would flash on the antenna. I checked out the antenna again, and sure enough, the light was flashing. The next day he told my mom and dad that he needed to go to some place. I drove my brother, and my parents drove in another car. I was following my brother's directions and didn't know where I was, even though I was still in SoCal, somewhere near the beach. At some point our parents got lost, so I told my brother to call them, but he said they would be ok. I asked my brother what area code this place was, and he said some area code starting with "0." I was thinking "Doesn't all of California start with a "9"? I kept driving and eventually we got to a rocky coastal area. My brother checked out some things by the rocks and we walked over to a resort looking place. There were small streets arranged similar to a hedge maze, but more open and connected. We found a scooter thing and started riding around. I think we heard people walking toward us, so we hid behind a hedge.

Even after I've come to accept the events of the Holy Father's passing, and having seen almost all the news has revealed about his life and his work, I'm still deeply moved by the lesser known stories that are surfacing only now as a remembrance. His humanness has been so striking in its sincerity and enthusisam, I can't help but feel things will not be the same. Yet now I think about it and I am sure things will never be the same; it is only the nature of this life.

For those who have gone before us... thank you.

Genuine faith and a living hope. Father Pat said it best, that faith is best solidified by those around you. The timing of everything seemed appropriate today, with the passing of John Paul II and the all the baptisms. I felt privileged to be able to take part the celebration of it all. Amazing things happen inside that Interfaith trailer. Then after work, we met up with everybody at Islands and it was like a family party, I guess because it was our family. I feel so lucky. Amen.

Already the world seems a different place. All things in His time. We forget our goodbyes are only temporary. It still boggles my mind.

Today was two steps backward, and then one forward. I didn't feel like doing anything. Boredom can be so paralyzing. I just need to get my mind right.