How can you measure a day?

By how long you can do without your cellphone?
By how many times you see 40 different dance routines to the same music?
By the time you pass getting sidetracked when your trying to do work?
By the time you spend talking to a friend in the parking lot?
By the minutes you sit in class well after it's officially over?
By the number of meatballs in your pasta?
By the trails of drool on your shirt when you wake up from your nap in class?
By how late you wake up in the morning?

What about love?

Even though my day wasn't looking very nice all the way up until 6pm, everything started to get a little smoother. I think I was mostly irrated because I didn't eat anything until 5pm. Big mistake. It's so nice to be surrounded by cool people. People who take your stress away. Genuinely cool people. The P-ROC makeup meeting, neuro lab (despite staying late and cutting a little nerve out of a mostly-dead frog), then ZotBowl. The bike ride from lab to Irvine Lanes and back home was awesome. I haven't been that way in almost 2 1/2 years. It was nostalgic, riding my bike in the moonlight. If I actually had some energy, it would have been awesome. This was the first year I actually bowled at ZotBowl. I've got to stop depriving myself of things. This is the year for me though. Next up: Sportsfest. I think I bowled my first 2 games in triple digits. Not bad for me I guess. I just enjoyed chilling, finding a friend in every other lane. The way home , the air felt so nice... good enough to drink it. So I tried. It was great. I got home and chugged a strawberry banana shake, which was almost as nice as the air outside.

I wonder what tomorrow brings...

There's something in the air this night... and I can only wait until it passes. It's strange how quickly things can change.

Are the days growing shorter?

I wish I could have some stoppage time every night to write down everything that I was thinking during the day. This past three weeks I've been all over the place, but never really felt like I had enough time to write something more than just a report... more like a verbal x-ray snapshot, something that goes beyond what any third party observer would see. My nights are just so busy now.

Coming back from the Liwanag retreat, I feel more apprehensive about getting back in the "everyday" thing. I really think I'm a spontaneous person trying to squeeze into a routine. I think I keep looking for ways to stretch... stretch my thinking, my limits... break out of the same old. It's not just for the sake of being different though, because I feel like I'm already different enough. Looking back, I think it all stems from experience... and often my lack thereof. Sometimes I feel like I'm a walking contradiction, other times I feel like I can't hold onto anything close enough to be part of something. I'm still see myself as the one who knows people who don't know me. I'm not putting up any walls though. I don't like to bury my past or my pain. I just prefer to keep my door unlocked and my windows open.

And the porch light is on.