Why is it I always hate myself in the morning?

This nocturnal thing is a helluva drug.

I've come to the conclusion that money is a necessary evil, with evil being the key word. I spent an hour looking on craigslist for part time gigs/jobs so I can save up to go back to school, and man, the real world is capitalism incarnate. Look for the job that gets you the most compensation for the least amount of work. And what about benefits? Job security? The commute? Can it pay the rent and the cell phone bill? I can only hope I can get something meaningful out of it besides the paycheck, which is only a means to an end. And what end is that? It's not simply a question of what means anymore... I've got to think about the ends. And what they're worth. To me. And those around me. That's the funny thing about capitalism. There's a inherently selfish politic to it--the more people look out for their own interests, the better the system works. At least that's what I got from my high school econ class. I'm a bio major. Correction: was a bio major. I want to be doing what they do in Grey's Anatomy. Even if it's written for ratings and not accuracy. The money should only be a secondary concern. In a perfect world.

I can't get it out of my mind. And that's when I know it's pointless to dwell on it. A job is a job for a reason. There's work, and then there's work.

I've got work to do...

If I don't plug up some holes, all my motivation will drain out of me. Damage control?

Why is it when I focus on one thing, I lose focus on everything else?

All this uncertainty is stifling...