I don't know. Commence speechlessness.

I've just been through about 5000+ photos over the past two days, maybe tweaking a good 2/3 of them. I think I turned myself off editing pictures. A person can only spend so much time cropping and playing with gamma levels and contrast. The good part is I marked all my favorites, so I can see all of them without searching for them all over again. Plus I uncovered a lot of pictures that I took or I got from other people that really didn't look like much until they were tweaked. Quite literally, it's taking a second look at something and seeing something that wasn't there before.

I'm going photo crazy. I'm going to bed before I edit another picture.

I don't know how, but I'm awake. It's 7:48 am. I decided not to go back to sleep. I haven't felt this good in the morning since I don't know when.

I read so I'm better informed. I pray so I'm more grounded spiritually. I work out so I'm more healthy and more fit. I listen to better understand. I try to be patient to better appreciate. I struggle to fight for what I believe and learn why I am wrong. And yet at times I still find myself wanting to live a life more normal.

But then it would not be my life I'd be living.

Work was crazy. No joke. I felt like I was going to freak out a few times and just say "F*** this" and have my kid turn in his project late or something. But I'm not like that. Hell if I screw some poor kid over even if he screwed himself by being lazy (there seems to be certain similarities here...). My car took the brunt of my frustrations and turned them into tire squeals and heel-and-toe downshift 90 degree turns at 25+ mph. Subway. Work with Scott. Costco. PUSO meeting. Madrona. John's house. The printer runs out of ink!!!! WTF????? PSLH parking lot (buy a permit). CSL. LOG meeting. John's house. Campus (to relieve some stress and take some pictures). Madrona. 4 and a half hours of work, 2 guest appearances (PUSO and LOG), plently quick hey-nice-to-bump-into-you conversations, 3 meals, some impromptu shopping, some microsoft word editing, and several photos all in the span of 9 action packed hours. I really wish I could have hit the ARC too. Tomorrow morning I guess. We'll see what happens though. Life is a crazy one.

check out the new pics: click me

It has always been in the confusion and disorder of life that I have been able to find the reason. Doubt is only conceived internally, but we welcome it into our existence with distrust and close-mindedness. Being far too easy too say I am not ready, I choose instead to weather the uncertainty, forsaking my illusions of control and embracing the struggle.

Wake up.

Ok. For real. I'm bringing it back.

What a busy weekend. I've got plenty of stories to tell. In the morning.