pour it all out
so You might fill it up again

Tomorrow's going to be a busy day. I don't think I can sleep though.

Being at home, I've started to notice the great trouble I have with sleep. Last night I slept from maybe 11pm to 1:15am. Then I tried (but failed miserably) to get back to sleep so I could possibly get myself used to waking up before 11am. But I just kept turning over, not quite sure if I was too hot or too cold to be comfortable. I kept checking my cell phone for the time.

2:15am

Oh man, so many thoughts run through your head when you can't sleep. Not like I'm stressed out, but this is really stressing me out. I want to sleep!

3:05am

I should have just stayed up and blogged or something. I know I have something to write about, otherwise I wouldn't be awake thinking about everything right now.

4:35am

You can really beat yourself up sometimes. Why am I beating myself up? Why are things so unsettled right now?

And eventually it all faded away into sleep, sometime before 5am. Now I'm awake and I can't shake this unsettled feeling.

The Curse of the Bambino has been broken. I didn't even realize there would be a lunar eclipse tonight, but I was able to catch a few glimpses of the eclipse about halfway complete. I knew there was something not quite normal about it. Now I'm home, a little later than I thought I'd be, but still in time to "check in" with my mom. I wish I had my future camera right now. There's a smog-free, partly cloudy, full moon midnight blue sky. Just beautiful. It's like God just cleared his canvas.

Breathe.

I'm feeling all sorts of nostalgic today. That's a real sharp contrast to what I was feeling yesterday. Just like the rain and the sun that parts the clouds. Still, both are beautiful.

I was at work and Scott wanted to play soccer at the park. Last week, I just kicked the ball around and had to walk around the rest of the day with wet socks. Today was different. The rain was awesome last night, but it was clear for a while and then kicked in again right when I picked Scott up from the bus stop. I didn't feel like having wet socks again, but I went anyway. And then it was everywhere.. the air, the sky, the grass... oh man. It made me think of Christmas, or wintertime, wearing jackets, Crazy World Series games, early sunsets... and that great feeling when cold air hits your face, but you're warm on the inside.

Yesterday was a different story. Second thoughts, second guessing, seconds tick away... I think it's more frustration and exhaustion than anything. After all the yearbook picture taking and hacky-shuttle-cock-sack after the Liwanag meeting, followed by late night pho and green tea in the middle of the best downpour all year, driving throught Westminster singing my lungs out with 4/5 of M.O.M. Leo needs a bigger freaking umbrella.

I took the scenic route home.

Tired. I don't think there's a better way to descrbe it. I can't really say what it is though, why I feel so tired. I'm definitely not in it today. It's almost as if ... I don't know. Where am I?

Things are getting interesting. Or it could be it's just interesting to talk about everything.