Life is less a battle than a drawn out war at times. Right now I'm savoring the little victories... finding the beanie not two days old I left at the bike rack at the ARC, not stolen, not taken, just there... finally getting a phone to replace the one I lost five weeks ago... getting a free replacement (no questions asked) for previously mentioned phone despite it not being my original phone and despite me screwing it up by trying to upload too many damn ringtones... getting people to apply for HSO... finding the voice I used to have, trying to speak with authority and not passivity... having people come out to the first IM game PUSO played this year, despite losing 2 games to zip and our fans coming five minutes after the action was over... getting through seven hours this week battling Scott, when I usually only have to deal with him for three; this week he was a real monster... starting to get a handle on some new bike tricks... getting an unexpected extension for my journal from my hollywood history TA... getting an unexpected rebate check from the gas company because I overpaid them... finding cool ringtones for my phone that don't cut off after 30 seconds... reestablishing my cultural identity in the solidarity of or common struggles... walking with God again...

From what I picked up sitting in on a behavior psychology class (I really had nothing else to do, and it was cold outside...) my outlook is promising. Good things are internalized, and I'm stable. That's good. Otherwise I'd be in a depressive state. So despite not having a date for Med Mission Gala, having the burden of three midterms falling all withing four days, and with everything getting a little more complicated all the time...

everything's going to be alright. But I could have told you that before any of this ever happened.

Peace and love. God bless.

Though it feels like I missed out n everything today, it turns out things weren't as bad as they first seemed. I guess I'll always be the one to walk my own path... and wonder where I'm going.

Sunday spills over into Monday... and Tuesday...

I was late for HSO planning again. I have to start going to sleep on time. It was a productive meeting though, and I really liked the atmosphere inside L&L's Hawaiian BBQ. I'm really starting to get into this...

Over to Martin's place for a long overdue haircut I owed him in exchange for some food. Good food. I have to steal that recipie from him one of these days. Getting the chance to catch up with Martin and Patty, I realized how little I see them and how much time I used to spend with or around them. Crazy.

Off to mass and benefit concert practice. There was something about the homily that struck me... not resisting when God tries to open our eyes. That usually involves stepping out of what you know and being completely vulnerable, but growth does not come without challenge. Choir practice was kind of short, kind of long, then everyone disappeared... so I went home.

This morning I found myself wide awake at 6:30 am, a whole two hours before my alarm was set to go off. I remember having some dream where I was back at my private school that I went to in LA, but I was all grown up, and I got the cellphone I bought on eBay to replace the one I lost a while ago... but I was pissed off because the phone I received was a crappy lower-end model. I thought that I ordered the wrong phone like a dumbass and got a cheap ass phone. That got me all annoyed. So after I woke up and blew mmy nose, I tried to go back to sleep. Damn. Gerald wakes up and sits at his computer and starts to read. I thought, "why the hell did he turn on his monitor is he's just reading?" Maybe 15 minutes later he finally starts to type something up and then blows his nose. Not even two minutes later he's blowing his nose again. Every damn two minutes for damn near an hour and a half he keeps blowing his nose. To make things worse, he's just honking his horn (ie nothing comes out) so it's freaking pointless. I was really to cuss him out and tell him to leave the room so I could sleep. That fool complained when my alarm went off for 6 (that's right, SIX) minutes at 8:45. This noseblowing garbage happened from 6:45 to 8:30 something. Little did I know Geeps was awake too and really to punch him in the nose. I was so tired I slept in and missed my classes. Damn.

I finally got the motivation to leave the apartment around 5:30 so I could eat lunch and meet up with my groupmates for my hollywood history class. Our meeting actually went pretty well. I think I misjudged the other two people in our group, but now I'm really glad we got paired up with them. We (Cristina+Geeps+me) chilled with Cressa at Cornerstone until I showed up (a little late) to the PUSO board meeting. A little talk about the PUSO male board member curse and now we're the Cubs of the dating world. I think it might be our year though. Only time will tell.

Back to the apartment to meet for Dee's birthday surprise. We taught some of the young'ns to play some Texas Hold'em, then rolled deep to Shawshank. NG, Kathee, Geeps, Boraccho and I waited in the parking lot across Shawshank until everyone arrived, messing around with the shopping carts trying to make Kathee dizzy. Over to Shawshank trying to be quiet while we snuck upstairs and sort of botched the surprise, but it's all good. The cake, though disgustingly expensive (stupid Gelson's) was great. The caking was pretty ridiculous too, in a funny way. We watched some Top Gun while Dee cleaned up (to prevent mouse and ant attacks) and eventually parted. I think I want to plan the next birthday surprise. It'll be spectacular. Or a big bust. Time will tell.

Pieces to sleepiness. God bless.

From peace to pieces. That's what it seems like I'm going through right now. Every time it seems like I'm getting it together, I turn around and nothing works anymore. Sometimes I think that it'll be better if I just do my thing. More and more that's the only thing I have the chance to do. You can lose yourself when you stop doing your own thing... but if you only do your own thing, all you're left with is yourself. Why can't I balance this out?

Last night. I felt a little weird going to Monte Carlo night, but I had a great time there. The turnout was better than I expected, and it seemed like everyone was enjoying themselves. I lost a grip playing blackjack, but won it all back at the Texas Hold'em table. That game is sooo addicting. The best part is you're not playing against the house. My luck ran out the last half hour and I lost everything when we went no limits, but it was fun regardless.

I left to go to the PUSO board kick-it/cook-off, but Kristine was the only one who really cooked anything. Somehow we ended up at Mike and Vince's, cutting Mike's hair, but not before having some fun with it.

Drinking is so overrated...

Surreal. Everything seemed like a dream today. I woke up and the sky was orange. It was already past 1, so I crossed Friendship Games of my list of things to do. When I went outside, it was more of an amber sky, but the sun was magenta. Anything that was green looked like it was half glowing. It was like I was wearing my amber-lens sunglasses, which make the grass look crazy. I got in my car and the normally green lights for the digital clock and cd player were a nice shade of blue now. Even better, all the headlights on all the cars looked like they were superwhite high intensity discharge (HID) lights like some new cars have. Crazy. I went to three different stores to buy birthday candles for Khristine's birthday surprise, and I ended up having to cross the picket lines at Ralphs. It felt like I was in a movie all day.

Riding to the park for our BBQ/birthday surprise, all the ash kept getting in my eyes. It was a good time, chillin, doing wheelies in the grass, and playing badminton. We stayed till well past sunset, just doing whatever in the dark. We all headed back to the apartment to play some pusoy dos and Texas-Hold'em till we couldn't take it anymore. I hope the ash in my nasal passages doesn't mess me up tomorrow...